FINAL KEY

2017-12-20-18-17-42-823
“A Tale of the Last Key to a now locked up Heart”

It stabbed me like a thousand knives,

Worse than any pain I had felt before,

as without a reason you barged off.

You said that you did not want me to have anything for you or anyone as it would be good for me,

You didn’t need to,

I had decided long back you would be my heart’s last key.

I was screaming inside when you said goodbye,

I wanted you to stop and give an honest answer to my why;

All you said was it was something I wouldn’t understand,

So I bid adieu with a quiet bye.

No, my final words did not hold any anger,

They just held a sorrowful sigh,

I reconciled with my fate as you made me leave when I was right at your door.

The tears pricked my eyes and flowed freely as I collapsed on my knees,

But soon I got up and laughed bitterly,

as what I had predicted had finally come true.

I don’t hold any grudges and forgiveness is a trait I had learnt long ago,

but there is nothing to forgive here as I don’t believe either of us was at fault.

It was so abrupt that it left me dumbstruck,

Everything seemed normal and then it turned into a debacle.

It was the sudden isolation that brought the mind numbing pain,

You needn’t worry as it is nothing new;

People I get attached to keep leaving time and again.

But this time around there is something different,

The pain I feel seems alien,

It surpasses the limits of my severe bouts of depression,

yet suicidal thoughts I have not considered as an option.

I am at a phase where I cannot beg or plead anyone to stay,

it was one of the reasons why I didn’t push you for an explanation as you strayed away.

Grateful I am to you for making me feel and believe in eternal love again,

Thankful too for coming into my life and being there in the darkest hours,

and keeping me sane.

I don’t know what came over you,

I was left hanging in mid air in a cloud of confusion,

It was the last thing I expected from you.

I don’t blame you for anything,

Changing your path was your right;

The heartache is that you felt I wasted my time trying to figure you out,

when all I wanted was to discover the colors that you held abound.

I never felt you would break this bond,

You could have remained as a friend,

But without any inference you drove off;

Leaving me with a raging storm of emotions inside.

I know there must be a major cause,

So I backed off giving you your time and space;

Just that it still hurts to know,

That I wasn’t deemed worthy to understand what you were going through.

I can gauge the turmoil in your soul even from afar,

I can only hope time will heal all.

I know you care,

So don’t worry I will be fine,

Is all I can say in the end.

You are free to enter,

You are free to leave,

Still says the doorway of my life to my inspiration and my locked up heart’s

FINAL KEY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urgeยฉ|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published by

Vanya Rajwar

An Alpha by sight but a lone wolf by right. Eternally and Devastatingly romantic. Not 'sugary' but dark and tormented. A furore of passion and the despair of an idealism not realised. An Ambivert; my calm demeanour hides the raging storm of emotions inside. A Freelance Writer; expressing emotions through words.

21 thoughts on “FINAL KEY”

    1. Yes it hurts when no reason is given. It is just that I expect people to be brutally honest yet sometimes they don’t tell you the truth thinking the truth will hurt you more. They don’t realise that a truth hurts once but when no reason is given it messes people up almost everyday but this is life. I just take it with a pinch of salt. Thank you for connecting with the pain. ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. This is something exaclty happened with me.. I can relate to each passage ! Somethings we think the other person deserve much better person than us.. and that’s the reason we just say and leave the phrase “You will never understand”…

    It’s an internal fight, A fight where we are alone and helpless

    1. Glad you could connect!
      Sometimes the other person thinks we deserve better but all he or she has to do is share. You can understand the inner turmoil of the person even when he or she is leaving especially when its a person our soul connects to!! We know they will come back but its when they are destroying themselves ALONE not sharing with us as they are clueless themselves that causes the actual pain!!

      1. Agree ! When we tell you deserve better we kill oursleves from within.. Because we too deserves better – It’s just that we don’t know it

      2. True! Sometimes its just a phase of life that makes a person think so. Nobody should lose the belief in themselves and the RIGHT person even through the darkest times. Even if a person needs the lone time at least they know that they are not ALONE.. There is someone Waiting for them when they heal.

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