AN ETERNAL PROMISE

“A Tale of a Woman who has promised an Eternity to only one man in her Lifetime”

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Each time I talk to you,
I am filled with a warmth,
That words fail to describe.

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Each moment with you,
Brings time to a stand still,
My emotions an open book,
As I delve into their depths,
Everything, Only makes me realize;
There can never be another,
There is no other safe haven,
Not for me.

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I can’t promise an eternity to someone else,
Not in this lifetime,
Even if I failed to be your light,
The place you find peace,
Or your home.

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And as the tears flow down,
I just want you to know,
When it came to you,
Destiny never gave me a choice,
Love for you was preordained,
And ever since that happened,
Never once have I wanted to leave its snares.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa.

The Soul’s Urge©|2019

PRIMA DONNA

A Short Tale of a lost Starlet ‘Prima Donna’, revived on this festival of lights, (Diwali) .

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The lights shone a little brighter this year,

As her heart and soul felt a lot lighter on this festival of lights,

As the lights shimmered so did her soul.

The happiness apparent;

She shone in all her rarity,

Like the Prima Donna she once was,

One who was forgotten in the worldly chaos..

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2019

EXISTENCE

Tale of a Strong Woman with a Dead Soul who finds her Existence Pointless

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She wanted to be the girl in his poems,
The one he would never forget.
She wanted to be the girl in his sketches,
The one he would always need,
Just like the air he breathes.
She wanted to be the girl in his dreams,
The one he would fight for,
One he would forever be at the side of.

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Instead she became the girl who wrote odes to her pain,
In trying to become his muse,
She lost her own self.
The girl who pretended to be happy even when sad,
Tried to be strong even when weak,
All this just for him;
Her hollow eyes had no expression,
When she realised she was so replaceable, so easily forgotten.

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Even after all that, Lust driven men chased after her,
Trying to claw at the numb remains of a body, with a shattered soul,
Nobody seemed to care, she had emotions too.

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Left Uncared & Unloved for, people sing praises of her strength,
The girl who became her own muse.
A girl who seems stone cold,
Shrouded in a constant mystery,
One who loved and fought with all her being,
something the ones in her life failed to reciprocate.
A wounded tigress they call her,
But she is just a girl with a dead soul,
One whose tears fail to flow,
One who feels she has no regrets, To the extent that,
She finds her mere Existence pointless.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2019

LIFETIME

“Tale of an Innocent Inspiration, A Forever Bond, one that makes you feel cherished for a Lifetime”

Do you ever wonder why you rarely become my muse?

It’s not that you don’t inspire,

You have always been there,

Inspiring me more than anybody else.

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The journey with you has been way too long,
From the days of yore,
When we were innocent and naive,
To getting entangled in the snares of life,
That changed us slightly and then some more.

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Over the years,
You are still as honest as the time we were kids,
Me, Maybe not as chaste,
Time and tide have taken a toll,
I am not even an ounce of what I was anymore.

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Yet through it all,
Having you beside,
Has been a blessing in disguise.
You are a man who has always made me believe,
That maybe, just maybe, forever is not a lie.

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The times have been many,
When without any intention,
In one blissful moment,
You have made me feel cherished for a Lifetime,
And trust me,
It’s an emotion even words fail to describe.

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P.S.: To that one childhood bond that went from an innocent friendship to something way more deep. To An innocent, honest, insane yet logical man with a golden heart. One who has always refused to leave no matter how crazy life gets. Here is to almost 10 years of illogical conversations, senseless fights, misunderstandings, the long dry spells of not talking and the lifetime kind of bond despite the distances. I love you, Anchor Boy.  Stay the same, never change.  

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2019

GREY

A Tale of a Woman stuck in the Grey Zones

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With the beginning of a New Year,

Her Soul that was Withered and Shattered,

Went through a major transformation,

It was the long awaited moments of Spiritual Awakening,

As her Earth Realities changed,

She embraced her true persona and flew unfettered.

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She realised she was never an extreme,

Neither the Epitome of Good,

Nor a Paragon of Evil,

She was a Paradox,

Benign yet Impassive.

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She was never a Friend to be called upon for Benefits,

But then she was also not the Commitment that one called a Relationship,

She was a Strings Attached,

Never given a Closure,

Used in accordance to Whims and Fancies,

An Obscure and Cavernous bond of a Situationship.

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Somewhere down the lane of the year begone,

She lost her Passion for a Romance Eternal.

She wasn’t the one you’d want,

If you wanted an everlasting ardor,

She was one holding on to the last vestiges of humanity to feel Alive,

So all she can provide is Love Universal.

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She wasn’t the Fury nor was she the Calm,

Despite the Pandemonium within her heart and mind,

She seemed at Peace with her Inner Self ,

This impressed upon the watching eye,

And she appeared to them as Divine and Ethereal.

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However, at the end of it all,

The realization hit her long and hard,

The cognizance that she was neither the Black nor the White,

She was just somewhere betwixt,

A Perfect Meld of all the shades GREY;

She was Devoid of Sadness,

But No; There was no Happiness,

Just a Soulful Numbness.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©| 2019

MONSOON YEARNINGS

“A Tale of the Longing that arrives with the Monsoons”

The morning is dark yet refreshing.

The clouds thundering above me.

Sitting outside in the open I am thinking of you,

As the rain drops fall upon my skin;

I imagine you in them,

They sear my skin with a burning passion,

As they trickle down my body,

And serenade me.

 

The afternoon is cold,

There is silence everywhere,

Except for the soft pitter patter of raindrops.

I am on my bed listening to the sounds when,

There is a sudden urge to hold you.

Despite knowing you aren’t here,

I want to touch you.

The bedsheets crumple beneath my hands,

As I claw at them,

Calling out your name;

Disturbing the peace of the scene.

Those hidden desires resurface again,

The delirious moans and the whispers that follow,

With a mere imagination of your presence,

Titillate me to the core,

Driving me insane.

 

In the evening I feel spent and tired,

I sit outside again,

Staring at the mist settling upon the hills beyond.

They look so beautiful, I want to capture them,

Wishing I could share the landscape with you.

 

The night arrives bright and ethereal,

The moon shining upon me,

A velvety blanket of stars surrounding it.

It looks crystal clear yet hides the night’s enigma underneath..

I remember your love for the nights and smile,

As I realized I have fallen for you and it has been a while.

 

Memories come rushing through and I am reminded of the time with you,

The sky still remains the only constant that we share,

As another day of the Monsoons passes,

With me yearning for you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

ETERNITY

“A Short Tale of a Lifetime of Romance”

 

When I am with him,

I don’t want him to look at another woman longingly,

Wishing it had worked out with her.

 

Instead I want to be the woman,

He can look right into the eye,

And thank his stars that it never worked out with others.

I want to be the woman,

Who is recognized by his heart and soul,

As the one;

Who has loved him Eternally,

And will stand by him through Eternity.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018