I will Marry when I am Ready

“I will marry only when I am ready,” she said.

Its time for you to marry, they say,

You are reaching your late 20s, they say,

It’s the right time to marry, they say,

We have found eligible men for you, they say,

You expect me to marry a random stranger? I ask disbelievingly,

I am not ready, I am not prepared,

Unless it’s someone I am deeply in love with,

How can you even think of such a thing?

.

Marry, they say,

Your value will decrease with time, they say,

You won’t have as many choices in your 30s, they say,

Am I a commodity to you that my value will dilapidate with age? I ask,

How hard is it to digest a woman wanting to focus on her career? I ask,

What makes you decide it’s the right time for me to marry? I ask.

.

Do you have someone in your heart? they say,

If you do tell us, we can talk to him, they say,

What if he is focusing on his career right now? I ask,

What if I want to wait for us both to succeed in life? I ask,

What if I can’t have another in my heart? I ask,

Will you let me be if I tell you that? I ask.

.

You ought to marry early, they say,

Timely kids and Timely adjustments are the way to go, they say,

Will you guarantee me an understanding of a lifetime? I ask,

With your arranged matches will you be able to give me the love I seek? I ask,

I am trying to pave my way in life,

I want to mature slightly more,

I am not prepared and I am not ready,

Who gives society the right to dictate that I should marry? I ask.

.

Some marry at twenty, some marry at thirty,

Some marry at forty and some marry after fifty,

Who decides on the right age to marry?

Why does society comment on the right age to marry?

I want to make a mark for myself before I marry,

I am not prepared, I am not ready to take on the responsibility,

I can’t love another for a long time that’s coming and I prefer waiting,

Why can’t people wait? What is the hurry?

Oh! You all really needn’t worry,

I will surely marry but only when I am ready.

.

.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2021

.

P.S.: I have been away for very long but everything had taken a backseat during the pandemic. As I am coming out of my glum state of mind and inspiration has started striking again, I will be more regular!! Thankyou for supporting me and still reading my work!

My Paws

A Dedication post for my six pairs of paws that have been my constant companions. She probably thinks I am strangling her in this picture. Haha!

During a particularly rough monsoon season,

Eleven years ago,

A tiny being lay outside my house,

She was injured and she was in pain,

As the rains poured hard that night,

She looked at me with her beady eyes,

I brought a blanket outside,

Wrapped her up and brought her inside,

Nobody came to claim her for very long,

She became a part of our family,

She was small and she was frail, we called her Tinki which means tiny,

Eleven years down , she still hasn’t grown much, delicate as a butterfly,

My constant companion, her paw in mine,

All I have had in the worst of times.

.

Six years ago I heard about a litter of puppies,

I went to have a look at them,

A small little head popped out and looked at me,

His owner dangled him in front of me, wanting to get rid of him,

I took an immediate liking to this overly active being,

Took him home to give Tinki a companion,

Called him Rocky as that was the movie playing at the time,

Years down the lane, he is as active as he was as a pup,

No wall is too high and no gate can stop him,

When I am sad he rolls his head in my lap,

And all my worries and stress fly away.

.

Five years ago my uncle called me to his home,

I went and was surprised to see a big, fat pup wrapped in a towel,

He said she was two months old,

It was quite unbelievable considering her size,

She was a gift to my uncle who couldn’t care for her,

So she was gifted to me and I brought her home happily.

Wrapped her in the same blanket in which I had brought Tinki in,

Named her Lica, the first dog in space since she looked so unique,

Five years down she is a giant beauty,

Possessive and protective of everyone in the family,

Last year before my birthday she became a mother,

Gave me the most beautiful gifts in the form of six pups,

Whenever I feel low, she comes and sits with me,

Nuzzles my face and my tears dry quickly.

.

I call them my paws,

More loyal than most humans,

They Shower me with the purest form of unconditional love,

To all those who say I have kept them unnecessarily, I pay no heed,

Because their love and silent companionship has kept me alive,

They have helped me pass the darkest phases of life,

Their love is unadulterated to the very core,

It nurtures me as well as my soul,

They are all god’s gifts,

They are all I could ever need.

.

.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa)

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

I am not Her

A Tale of the girl who once lived and loved selflessly

There was a girl who once lived,

She loved more than she could,

Gave more than many deserved,

Selfless was her soul, it existed to serve,

I am not her.

.

She brought smiles to faces,

In the dead of the night, her muffled cries went unheard,

She filled others with happiness,

While piece by piece she shattered,

I am not her.

.

Often taken for granted,

Still altruistically she served,

Putting the welfare of others before herself,

To her own pain she paid no heed,

I am not her.

.

Neglected by the ones she loved,

She waited ages for them to understand her worth,

With a delicate heart and strong mind,

She still stayed by them through all storms,

I am not her.

.

She still resides within me,

Exhausted by having loved so selflessly,

She has churned me into what I am today,

I love and give others,

But I don’t forget to love myself for the same,

She has done her part of spreading love well,

Now she needs her rest.

The woman that I am today,

She is not that epitome of unselfish love and benevolence,

I walk away when my efforts are not respected,

Some might find it inconsiderate,

I apologize for the same,

But I refuse to be her,

I need to love myself too,

I am not her.

.

.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

Note: I got mails from quite a number of my followers as to what had happened to the surprise related to the book. I was supposed to share it yesterday but something went haywire. I promise I will be introducing it very soon. Please do stay tuned!! Thankyou so much for the support!

SOCIALLY ERRATIC

DSC02137
“A Small Tale of a Socially Erratic Person”

It makes me wonder sometimes,

In this world of Social Media and Fame,

Where each moment is documented online,

The Social Sites a place for jotting all the precious times of our lives,

It leaves me to wonder every time,

“Where the Socially Erratic, Socially Impaired and Ambiverts fit in”?

They too are people, mystical souls,Ā  untouched by the social media syndrome,

As the best moments in their life shine bright in their memories,

And have not been lived and shared online.

 

P.S.: Just leaves me to wonder about the exceptions. This is not against anyone. It is a great thing to be socially active as it is a huge platform of expression.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

 

PATH

img_20180619_182212
“A Short Tale of Paving the Path to Advancement”

She isĀ  trying to advance in life,

She is trying to carve a path that reaches him,

She is trying to be the best version of herself.

 

If she is able to pave the PATH that leads to him,

by the monsoons of the impending year;

Then trust her,

to make it through anything.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

AN ODE TO YOU

IMG_20180718_113349
“A Tale of finding true Freedom, Completion and Home”

Suddenly I felt free,

In a snap I felt complete,

My poetry and my words finally made sense,

I still didn’t know where I was headed,

but in the same instant I knew I wasn’t alone as I had you.

I had a smile on my face from end to end,

visited by the occasional blush,

This time I knew the reason was you.

 

I will never forget the year we met,

I will tell you the reason why,

When I returned back to the place I belong,

It felt distant and alien.

It was the rains all over again,

Yet they were different,

The valley was having its typical monsoonal rains,

the ones which had evaded it for years.

The constantly falling raindrops poured upon me,

Relentless and continuous,

Just like you,

Leaving me breathless,

They singed my skin,

Igniting the passion,

The way your touch and words do.

 

I remember each second of those few hours,

I relive them everyday,

When you held my hand I felt secure,

When your arms were around me,

I knew I had found my home.

When we parted ways I wanted to run back to you,

I wanted to hug you tight,

I wanted back the safe haven your arms provide.

 

I was happy I had met you,

My inspiration and the person who knows the real me through and through,

Yet there were tears in my eyes,

It felt like I had left a part of my soul behind.

I kept looking at you till you disappeared from the sidewalk and my view,

The eyes inĀ  search for a last vestige to hold on to you.

I will never forget the eyes that stared at me that day,

Which made me feel I was the most beautiful woman,

They had ever been laid upon.

I will never forget the smile, That gave me butterflies,

Made me such a nervous wreck,

That I could not even look into those smoldering eyes.

 

When I was returning back,

My feet were heavy, the flight home was not easy,

There was a smile with a cheer and the eyes glistened with the tears.

When I reached back home,

It was no longer the place I belonged.

I had left my very soul on the sidewalk,

on that serendipitous day.

 

I still remember the whole story,

I still can’t say it out loud,

I still weave it with words,

Because I still can’t express as you very well know.

 

The memories are a keepsake,

Till the time we meet again,

Till then let’s progress together,

Let the new chapters unfurl and unfold,

Let us embrace the changes that occur,

The distance and time betwixt is still the same yet different,

Let’s hope we will be by each other’s side as always,

Making each other stronger,

In our journey to reach the destination unknown.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

 

 

 

CROSSROADS

img_20180619_181659
“A Tale of the Crossroads of Love and Life”

Two years down the lane,

History seems to repeat itself,

Everything seems unchanged,

All that occurred in the past,

Is recurring, leaving me unhinged.

 

The bleak mornings and dreary nights,

Of the rains of this year,

Are mere shadows,

Of the summer of that draconian year.

 

The time I hid myself from all the love and fame,

To save myself from this world full of fake,

Removing the last vestiges of the life led till then,

I detached myself from people and pain.

 

After distancing myself from people,

Becoming socially impaired the only choice I could handle,

I never thought I would have to again face,

Any memory of the past knawing at my progression and pace.

But,

Life and Love have created another uproar,

And yet again I am at a CROSSROADS.

 

Life looms above me asking,

Should I or Should I not?

And Love,

Well, it keeps questioning me time and again;

Do you want someone to fall for the idea of you?

Or

Show your true self and let someone fall for you?

 

They have both given me choices to make,

And have left me with brutal decisions to take.

Entering the world without my facades,

Leaves me defenceless and scared,

It puts me on a pedestal,

Laying my vulnerabilities at stake.

Lively, loved and coherent or Stranded, alone and obscure,

The choices I make will lead me to either of these thestrals.

 

As the circle of life will complete itself,

It might meet the others,

Is all I will be left with to hope for,

Once I have decided upon the flow of one road.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018