GREY

A Tale of a Woman stuck in the Grey Zones

With the beginning of a New Year,

Her Soul that was Withered and Shattered,

Went through a major transformation,

It was the long awaited moments of Spiritual Awakening,

As her Earth Realities changed,

She embraced her true persona and flew unfettered.

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She realised she was never an extreme,

Neither the Epitome of Good,

Nor a Paragon of Evil,

She was a Paradox,

Benign yet Impassive.

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She was never a Friend to be called upon for Benefits,

But then she was also not the Commitment that one called a Relationship,

She was a Strings Attached,

Never given a Closure,

Used in accordance to Whims and Fancies,

An Obscure and Cavernous bond of a Situationship.

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Somewhere down the lane of the year begone,

She lost her Passion for a Romance Eternal.

She wasn’t the one you’d want,

If you wanted an everlasting ardor,

She was one holding on to the last vestiges of humanity to feel Alive,

So all she can provide is Love Universal.

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She wasn’t the Fury nor was she the Calm,

Despite the Pandemonium within her heart and mind,

She seemed at Peace with her Inner Self ,

This impressed upon the watching eye,

And she appeared to them as Divine and Ethereal.

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However, at the end of it all,

The realization hit her long and hard,

The cognizance that she was neither the Black nor the White,

She was just somewhere betwixt,

A Perfect Meld of all the shades GREY;

She was Devoid of Sadness,

But No; There was no Happiness,

Just a Soulful Numbness.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©| 2019

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SOCIALLY ERRATIC

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“A Small Tale of a Socially Erratic Person”

It makes me wonder sometimes,

In this world of Social Media and Fame,

Where each moment is documented online,

The Social Sites a place for jotting all the precious times of our lives,

It leaves me to wonder every time,

“Where the Socially Erratic, Socially Impaired and Ambiverts fit in”?

They too are people, mystical souls,  untouched by the social media syndrome,

As the best moments in their life shine bright in their memories,

And have not been lived and shared online.

 

P.S.: Just leaves me to wonder about the exceptions. This is not against anyone. It is a great thing to be socially active as it is a huge platform of expression.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

MONSOON YEARNINGS

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“A Tale of the Longing that arrives with the Monsoons”

The morning is dark yet refreshing.

The clouds thundering above me.

Sitting outside in the open I am thinking of you,

As the rain drops fall upon my skin;

I imagine you in them,

They sear my skin with a burning passion,

As they trickle down my body,

And serenade me.

 

The afternoon is cold,

There is silence everywhere,

Except for the soft pitter patter of raindrops.

I am on my bed listening to the sounds when,

There is a sudden urge to hold you.

Despite knowing you aren’t here,

I want to touch you.

The bedsheets crumple beneath my hands,

As I claw at them,

Calling out your name;

Disturbing the peace of the scene.

Those hidden desires resurface again,

The delirious moans and the whispers that follow,

With a mere imagination of your presence,

Titillate me to the core,

Driving me insane.

 

In the evening I feel spent and tired,

I sit outside again,

Staring at the mist settling upon the hills beyond.

They look so beautiful, I want to capture them,

Wishing I could share the landscape with you.

 

The night arrives bright and ethereal,

The moon shining upon me,

A velvety blanket of stars surrounding it.

It looks crystal clear yet hides the night’s enigma underneath..

I remember your love for the nights and smile,

As I realized I have fallen for you and it has been a while.

 

Memories come rushing through and I am reminded of the time with you,

The sky still remains the only constant that we share,

As another day of the Monsoons passes,

With me yearning for you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

HUES

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“A Tale of the Contrasting Shades of a Woman”

She was not born a warrior,

She has been forged into one.

She wears her scars proudly.

She belongs to nobody but her freedom,

And she loves the ones she cares for more than her freedom.

She is a free soul.

Her past has strengthened her.

She is forbearing and forgiving.

She is perceptive as well as sensitive.

She is brutal withal ruthless.

She cares the most, expects the least and braces herself for the worst.

She won’t ever quit on you.

She can  heal and mend you but

Beware!!

She has an Angelic Divinity about her that hides the Satan underneath.

She holds the powers of infernal destruction,

Which can convert,

Even shattered smithereens to Ashes and blow them into Oblivion.

So, Don’t compel her to reveal her darker shades.

Love her if she is kind to you,

but Fear her,

if you have forced out the darkness in her.

Her contrasting HUES;

Are an Essence that can make you,

but if pushed too far,

Are Deadly enough to break you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

TSAR

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“A short Tale about the Ruler of the Mind, Heart, Body & Soul”

The Fury of the tempest reminds me,

of the Raging Storm inside me;

The one causing the Turmoil,

is oblivious to it.

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He is the TSAR,

of my Mind, Heart, Body and Soul;

The longing for him is,

what the Romanians call DOR.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

FINAL KEY

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“A Tale of the Last Key to a now locked up Heart”

It stabbed me like a thousand knives,

Worse than any pain I had felt before,

as without a reason you barged off.

You said that you did not want me to have anything for you or anyone as it would be good for me,

You didn’t need to,

I had decided long back you would be my heart’s last key.

I was screaming inside when you said goodbye,

I wanted you to stop and give an honest answer to my why;

All you said was it was something I wouldn’t understand,

So I bid adieu with a quiet bye.

No, my final words did not hold any anger,

They just held a sorrowful sigh,

I reconciled with my fate as you made me leave when I was right at your door.

The tears pricked my eyes and flowed freely as I collapsed on my knees,

But soon I got up and laughed bitterly,

as what I had predicted had finally come true.

I don’t hold any grudges and forgiveness is a trait I had learnt long ago,

but there is nothing to forgive here as I don’t believe either of us was at fault.

It was so abrupt that it left me dumbstruck,

Everything seemed normal and then it turned into a debacle.

It was the sudden isolation that brought the mind numbing pain,

You needn’t worry as it is nothing new;

People I get attached to keep leaving time and again.

But this time around there is something different,

The pain I feel seems alien,

It surpasses the limits of my severe bouts of depression,

yet suicidal thoughts I have not considered as an option.

I am at a phase where I cannot beg or plead anyone to stay,

it was one of the reasons why I didn’t push you for an explanation as you strayed away.

Grateful I am to you for making me feel and believe in eternal love again,

Thankful too for coming into my life and being there in the darkest hours,

and keeping me sane.

I don’t know what came over you,

I was left hanging in mid air in a cloud of confusion,

It was the last thing I expected from you.

I don’t blame you for anything,

Changing your path was your right;

The heartache is that you felt I wasted my time trying to figure you out,

when all I wanted was to discover the colors that you held abound.

I never felt you would break this bond,

You could have remained as a friend,

But without any inference you drove off;

Leaving me with a raging storm of emotions inside.

I know there must be a major cause,

So I backed off giving you your time and space;

Just that it still hurts to know,

That I wasn’t deemed worthy to understand what you were going through.

I can gauge the turmoil in your soul even from afar,

I can only hope time will heal all.

I know you care,

So don’t worry I will be fine,

Is all I can say in the end.

You are free to enter,

You are free to leave,

Still says the doorway of my life to my inspiration and my locked up heart’s

FINAL KEY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SATANIC BAIT

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“A Tale of the instances that made HER fall for her SATANIC BAIT”

He was captivating and alluring.

He had her bewitched by his mere presence.

His chivalry and ability to behave feral and untamed when required, made him irresistible.

He was a deadly combination of a bad boy who was also a good man.

He crawled into her mind and soul everyday using his imagination to touch her skin and mark her as his territory, with a passion none could envisage.

The nights were enthralling and the days left her yearning for more.

He was akin to a SATANIC BAIT, luring her into forgetting all rationale.

Her passion for him mounted with each passing moment as he pushed her into the depths of the obscure chasm of her own ardent desires.

He was neither an obsession nor an addiction yet he was intoxicating.

His bewitching charm exposed her carnal desires and he reveled in it.

She had the premonition that resistance was futile.

Soon she had the cognizance of succumbing to the innate thirst and the deep rooted yearning.

The intensity of the insatiable passion that he had built up hit her like the fiery breath of a dragon, consuming the body and soul.

He was like a drug to her.

He made her experience a euphoric high everyday.

She delved into the deepest and darkest desires of the night with him.

He was like an ocean of contradictions and she lost herself in its abyss.

He was akin to the enticement of the devil especially sent to ensnare her.

As she scrolled through his photographs one day she realised she was falling for him.

He touched her in a manner nobody else could delving in right to her core.

Her friend’s words echoed in her ears “He’s got real guts and balls”, she remembered blushing a tiny bit at that but not enough to relate the story.

There was a glow about her as she had smiled, the one she had lost in the past months.

It was a reminder of all that he was and always had been.

 

She started waiting for him,

He became a constant presence on her mind.

He started to wander  her dreamland too.

The moments with him were the ones when she felt desired and appreciated.

She reached the epoch where she got the sensation of a safe haven.

It was the juncture where her heart knew that even the ‘savage’ inside her was done for.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018