Uncategorized – The Soul's Urge

THE INTERIOR DESIGNED

*The Contents pages of my first book!!!*

So the interiors of my book arrived today and I just couldn’t help but share them with all my readers. Had you all not liked my “erratic” work, this just wouldn’t have been possible. I am so excited and at the same time so scared too!! The adrenaline and the fear pumping. My heart feels like it will leap out my mouth. But I also have this feel it will be a great road ahead.

I hope you all will buy it too from whichever platform you like to read as and when it will be available. Thankyou for always motivating me as a writer.

I hope you like the contents page. Do leave reviews about what you think of them!! Haha!! Thankyou for all the love and support. I love you all!!

All Rights Reserved. VRa.
Vanya Rajwar©. 2020.

ENIGMA

Numerous are her shades. She is an enigma that takes ages to unfold. You have to be patient to learn all that she withholds because once she unleashes her various hues, you will be left yearning for more and more.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa.

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

Letter to Covid

My dear Covid,

I have no regrets,

My book is in the process,

It will soon be out.

My dear Covid,

At 25 I feel like fifty,

I have faced infidels galore,

I have savoured the adrenaline rush of life,

I have been in the depth of love,

I have also felt the mind numbing void.

My dear Covid,

I have seen the beauty of the European Province,

The human race of which you are destroying,

I have seen the streets being raided by tourists,

Of the Economy that is now collapsing.

My dear Covid,

I am a simple girl from the hills,

A Freelancer and an Introvert,

I already lived in Quarantine.

In India, they say the hills liberate you and bring you peace,

They say, Our gods used to reside in these hills.

My dear Covid,

I don’t seek any worldly pleasures,

A Cabin in the hills,

A warm fire in the hearth,

A book in hand sipping a hot mug of coffee is all I dream of.

My dear Covid,

I just hope my book will grant people some pleasure,

If it comes out during the Corona scare.

I just want to pray for the human race,

To make out of this alive and safe.

My dear Covid,

I bribed the Cosmos everyday,

In the past one year,

I asked it to abduct me,

Take me away as this land felt alien.

My dear Covid,

I just want you to know,

I have lived my dreams,

And if not the Cosmos but you decide to liberate me,

I will have no regrets,

I will leave with a peaceful mind.

My dear Covid,

I want to thank you for bringing balance to nature,

Coming from the Himalayas,

I always connected more with nature than with people.

My dear Covid,

If you decide to take me away,

I wouldn’t mind it anyway,

Because, I know I have left enough memories,

Of kindness and of Love,

For all the people dear to me to remember me by,

And I hope these will be lessons they can pass on,

To the generations that will follow them,

To be kind to nature,

So that it does not avenge itself with a ‘Corona’ again.

Sincerely,

A Girl from the Himalayan Foothills

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).
The Soul’s Urge©|2020

LAST NIGHT

A Tale of how the Corona Lockdown helped me talk to the Stars again Last Night

I talked to the stars after a long time last night,
I used to do that when I was a child,
Venus was shining so bright,
It looked at me and I looked at it,
We flirted a little,
Through my eyes and its shine.

Last time I talked to it I was a child,
The air was cleaner,
And the sky shone brighter,
There was no polluting barrier,
Between me and the skies.

The stars and I relived memories last night,
I asked them to pray for the humans and their plight,
A bird cooed, a bat flew,
I wasn’t scared,
I knew the nature and I were in harmony,
After a long while last night.

Always isolated, I looked at Venus again last night,
My old friend, my partner in crime,
I realised I had been alone and had missed it all this time,
The skies are what we all share,
So, I prayed with the stars for all humans last night.

I even bribed Venus to abduct me last night,
It winked at me and said,
Some day soon it might.
As I sat on the terrace last night,
After a long time since forever,
I wasn’t alone with my thoughts on a night.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa©

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

GOVERNMENT JOBS

A Sarcastic and Hilarious take on India’s obsession with Government Jobs

I had been wanting to speak since ages,

You know about this,

Particular obsession with Government Jobs.

In India, whatever or however you do it,

You should certainly apply for what?

A Government Job.

Do you like Banking?

Nobody really asks.

You want a career in railways?

Again nobody asks.

Do you want to become a professor?

Nada, that’s again never asked.

Do you want to go into government administration?

AGAIN Nobody asks.

You have to sit for it,

Especially if your parents and relatives ask,

There is just this certain obsession with Government Jobs.

You can’t sit at home and work,

That’s not how you earn,

An office and a respectable job,

People want to say proudly,

Our sons and daughters are government servants,

A nine to five job,

Just because, there is a particular obsession with government jobs.

You have to compete for one little seat,

With thousands of competitors,

Some interested in it, some absolutely not,

Some actors, some writers, some poets, some artists and then some scholars,

All dying together as they sit for their trial of a government job.

And Oh lord! If you don’t succeed in a few tries,

All hell breaks lose,

What will the society say,

The loss of respect,

Well what can we say,

Asking a fish to climb a tree,

That is what we should expect,

All, due to this obsession with a Government Job.

It makes me laugh at times,

I mean I don’t like maths,

Was never good at it,

But if I decide to sit for trial,

Against my wishes I will have to practice,

Thanks to the obsession with government jobs.

Next life if I arrive in India,

I wouldn’t want to be a human,

I would rather be a duck or a whale,

Or something unique like a Narwhal,

I would wade through life,

Doing things I enjoy or die an early death,

From a predator lurking around.

As I don’t really want taunts along with the support,

Just because I want to do works I enjoy,

Not sit on a job I don’t like,

All this, courtesy the obsession with government jobs.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. (VRa)

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

Letting Go

Tale of a woman who is ready to Let Go of the past and wants to start afresh

It’s a funny story of life,

I fell in love with a man,

One with whom I never wanted to,

He loved another so I let him go.

I fell for another, his friend,

With a heightened intensity,

Stood by him through hard times,

He started crushing on another,

Later fell for her too,

So I let him go.

The previous man returned,

With new promises and more efforts,

But I still held the other in my heart,

Despite his loyalty,

I couldn’t invest myself totally,

Not one to twist my words for long,

I told him so,

Yet again, I let him go.

The other man has many dreams,

He still is in love with another it seems,

I wonder if he will ever return,

But disappointments and dashed hopes I have had enough,

I have given myself a closure numerous times,

But this time a proper closure I do seek.

Might be a joke at times,

So the book I am writing will be the closure I seek,

A new beginning and two chapters closed,

That’s what I feel the ending will be.

I am learning and growing,

I am changing and evolving,

I know it’s time for me to free myself of their snares,

It’s time for me to rediscover myself for what I am.

Finally, I have realised it’s time,

As a friend I will probably still be there for them too,

I am proud of the woman they have forged me into,

Despite having promised a forever and eternity,

The woman I have become,

She is finally Letting Go.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. (VRa)©

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

How I have been Disciplined

Because sometimes Capital Punishments can create a rift between Parents and Child, one that can never be filled

Note: This is not related to my book. Just a fleeting thought I penned.

.
It was nothing new for me,
When my father hit me,
I had been disciplined since childhood,
With sticks and brooms and slaps and kicks too,
That was my parents style of venting out their anger,
And rearing the elder kid too.

I grew apart from them with time,
They never understood why I rebelled,
As I reached my teens I started losing my cool,
So it was nothing new for me,
When my father hit me.

I reached my twenties,
I found a partner and as he went through a harsh phase,
I wanted to be there for him, listening to him into the night,
It was something my father couldn’t digest,
At the age of twenty four,
It was again nothing new for me,
When my father took a stick and hit me,
I protested and I shoved him back, my mother called me crazy,
After all hitting back is not how I have been disciplined.

More than a year later I can still see the marks upon my waist,
A reminder of that ill fated day,
What had been my fault?
Was it wrong to be there for someone you love?
But then parents can do no wrong,
They have always reared us with so much love,
So I am not allowed to question them,
Or tell others the very same, what would society think of them?
And anyways also I should have been used to it,
Why would I even cry over this common occurrence?
After all it was nothing new for me,
When my father hit me,
It is just how I have been disciplined.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

INSTINCT

“She wants to prove me and my intuition wrong. She says I am still his muse, that there is no other,” I said to her.

She laughed, “Someone should tell her that questioning your instinct; a woman’s Instinct is like saying the illusory horizon exists. Unlike the horizon you can’t see it but it is there. A woman just sits there with her intuition, it knows facts that disillusioned people think they are hiding.”

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa©

February|2020

COLD

Once upon a time in the astral realm of my dreams we sat together,

Our fingers entangled, I was sure of a Forever,

Till you left, you had found another,

Left all alone, I still waited in hopes of your return,

You never came and I turned Cold.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa. ©

January|2020

Excerpt 2: A small part of the first chapter

I seemed to be third wheeling between the two of them when Alex remembered my presence.

“So, Vessa, still a Manizer, eh? That’s what they call you, don’t they?”

“Yeah, they do. What can I do about that?”

“Really? Why exactly do they say that?” Trish piped in, genuinely interested.

“Well let’s just say a quarter of a century of casualties or if you might call them that then, Relationships (though I don’t).”

“WHAT? Really? 25?” she looked flabbergasted.

“Yeahhhh…” I said.

“So who is the next prey? Eh?” Alex asked.

“They weren’t really “preys”! And well I am just not interested in playing around anymore.”

Alex stared at me long and hard. Trish looked at the expression in his eyes and I could feel that she certainty wasn’t happy.

“STOP staring at me! It looks creepy.”

“Well. Sorry. You just sound different in a very nice way.”

I looked at Trish with a side eye and groaned inwardly. I did NOT want Alex staring at me, I wished to tell her that. I started fidgeting with my phone. I wasn’t interested in Alex and I wanted to put her at ease so I made the excuse that I had some work, picked up my stuff, said my goodbyes and started to leave. Alex wanted to accompany me outside but I stopped him. I did not want things to get more awkward than they already were. I looked at Alex like, how could he be so dumb as to not realize the tension in the atmosphere and that made me wonder whether he was just stupid or simply slow in picking up the vibes.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa.©

January|2020