THE POINT

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“A Satirical Tale about the Point whence I stopped believing in Eternal Love”

I am tired of pleading people to love me,

The realisation that my real self does not interest them,

has finally dawned on me.

All I want right now is for all these men;

to let me be.

I tried loving once,

it was a puppy love, the kind you fall in at school,

it seemed so pure and true.

It ended when I realised that he was a dunce,

Besides me, there were three others in the lieu.

Oh the perils of love!!

Never will I love again, I took an oath that day;

but then time passes and things tend to change,

And I wasn’t able to keep things at bay.

I fell in love again, the shock came,

when I read his status on facebook one day,

stating he was gay.

He ended things on this note with me;

how cruel and deceptive can this world be,

I realised to my utter dismay.

No! No! No! I absolutely won’t love again,

I kept reminding myself after this instance,

as I fought with the pain.

But God’s work was not over with me,

and love crept up yet again;

My resistance, well, it was all in vain.

To this man I gave my all,

In hopes that he might stay;

it all ended in a debacle,

as another woman made his attention stray away,

so its obvious I had to leave him anyway.

I grew up with time,

All these love flings, I felt, were lessons of life.

I was in search for stability when I stumbled upon a person,

who I felt would be, worth the while.

I was happy and felt wanted,

after years of yearning;

But I guess I should have known better,

after all the years of learning.

His confusion and instable mind,

unnerved me to no extent.

I knew I was a prize,

At the end’ I had to quit;

I couldn’t stay with someone,

unsure about me.

I had finally decided I won’t look back,

then a person came and tried to heal me.

Heaven knows he was shattered more than me,

yet he made me laugh and smile.

He reasoned with his tact,

I knew he wasn’t over his latter love;

As he tried to rescue me I could sense his broken heart,

He needed the healing more than I did.

Despite having read it all,

I fell for him without refrain;

I tried hard not to but he had me chained.

I was shackled in his snares but this time round,

I knew better than to share.

This was the POINT, where come what may;

I knew I won’t love someone who treated me as a second choice,

someone with whom my inner self I couldn’t bare.

The point at which I could tolerate the ignorance,

bear the pain of separation, miss my whole existence,

but bowing down to someone who didn’t care

was worse than the pain of the cold shoulders and angry glares.

It was the point when I wanted to be with someone,

not for the avarice but for the romance;

Someone who would love my actual soul and not the facades I wear on a daily roll,

Someone who had the balls to accept me and never be deceitful towards me on the whole.

It was the point whence I knew without err that if a man couldn’t handle me,

fair and square,

then he didn’t deserve me at all.

My tryst with myself would continue for a lifetime,

even if such a man did not come my way,

this I forswear.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

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ASHES

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“The Tale of a Love incinerated Soul”

He looked at her and smiled.

She smiled back but it never reached her eyes; the twinkle she always had in them whenever he was around was missing.

He realised he had already murdered the soul of the most special person in his life.

She wasn’t the girl he had fallen for anymore; he had pierced her right to the core.

She was still there for him but her warmth was missing.

She had become an empty void which was devoid of any sensations.

She was tired of waiting and had long stopped expecting.

He wanted his girl back but even he knew that the pain he had caused had already killed the girl he once loved.

Her ASHES were buried somewhere inside the blank space he was smiling at.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

CLOSURE

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“A small Tale of the Incomplete Chapters”

Life is a hysterical riot, the stories it weaves create an uproar without bias .

Chapters with a climax are easier to tackle,

as they face the axe after a definite end;  granting blissful freedom from their shackles.

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Hurtful are the chapters that lie incomplete,

as worthwhile enough to don the cloak of CLOSURE; they are never deemed.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

SERENITY & PEACE

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“A Tale of Growing Up and attaining Peace”

People say I have changed.

I haven’t;

I just grew up with the passage of time.

I refused to be used and pushed around.

I stopped reaching out to people who did not reach out to me.

I  ceased to trust people who I knew would betray me.

I started depending on myself and began to value what I had.

I freed myself from the snares of the past and came out wiser.

I realised I had showered rarely seen selfless love on the undeserving.

I accepted the reality of life with a calm and reignited the fire within me.

I found my soul in the process and with it true SERENITY & PEACE.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

CONFLICT

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“A Tale of the Heart versus the Mind”

You are my first thought in the morning and the last one at night.

 It brightens my day, bringing a blushing smile on my face

and

fills me with warmth, in the dark,  trying to lull me to a peaceful sleep.

Many nights I don’t want to close my eyes because I can feel your arms around me.

My mind knows its an illusion but even then the heart is scared to lose the warmth, so it clings on,

 refusing to embrace the astral darkness. 

There are mornings when I don’t want to open my eyes because I can feel your presence beside me.

My mind imagined you with me as we roamed around in my dreamland

but

then the heart is afraid that the dream will break as it knows you won’t be there when I wake up to the new day.

This fight goes on forever, the mind wins some days

and

the heart takes over many nights,

It is my soul that never finds peace, due to the eternal CONFLICT.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

LOST VIBES

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“A Tale of Changing Emotions”

I kept overthinking and reminiscing,

I could sense the bond was missing.

I know that neither of us was at fault;

It was just the VIBES that were LOST.

There was a time when you cared for me,

You tried to understand me, I could see.

Even I wanted to delve deeper into your inner self

but I never got a chance;

as somewhere along the line the connection got ruined.

I had felt a passion like never before,

The rush of tears speak of the intensity furthermore.

The feeling that I had finally found eternal bliss,

Faded away suddenly and I could feel my entirety go amiss.

It is not my pride that refuses to make amends,

Nor is it your ego that is to be blamed;

For you the situations and emotions changed,

brutal honesty was all that was required as I am done with the chases;

Too bruised by a lifetime of experiences to try yet again.

I will always be grateful to you for rescuing me,

it was the first time someone wanted to save me.

You mirrored my soul,

I could sense its depth resonating in you.

Someday the vibes might return,

till then time will heal our minds and souls;

And even if they don’t I will always be thankful to you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

ALPHA

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“The Tale of an Alpha Queen”

Alone she stands, unwavering and tall,

Fierce to the bone and savage to the core.

Different from the rest, she is one of a kind,

She won’t make amends if she is right;

undoubtedly a rare find.

She is well versed in consoling herself,

She has learnt to wipe her own tears,

She has taught herself to be her own support,

She wears new facades everyday,

So don’t mistake yourself, you can’t read her changing personas each day.

She is the ALPHA of her own life.

She has no penchant for your shenanigans and

Anger in her patient self is what irrelevant histrionics ignite.

A lone wolf by sight and a queen by right,

She is the centurion of the arena you are playing at

Believe it when I say you can’t gauge her might.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018