WHERE IS CHAOS?

“A Bizzare Tale of the Dreamland”

It was a weird dream I saw,

Today in the morning at four.

There was a small black panther traversing my dreamland,

I caught him and covered him with a cloth;

I wanted to protect him from this brutal world.

There was a bridge which I carried him across,

Cradled in my arms like a baby,

I just wanted to take him home.

There were policemen standing at the bridge’s end,

And they wouldn’t let me into the main city,

With anything suspicious in hand,

I had no other option  but to tell them the whole scene,

I was going to but somehow he slipped out of my grasp.

He entered the city and created a lot of hue and cry,

I ran after him remembering I had sworn to protect him,

I found him running for his life afraid of the din and noise,

I caught him by the neck and cradled him again,

As I took him home that night.

A weirder scene met me at home,

My mother was cooking in the kitchen,

And a tigress was polishing her nails sitting at the door;

My mother treated it like it had always existed,

And I paid it as much attention as I do to my pet dogs.

I brought the Panther inside and named him CHAOS,

Due to the furore created by him,

Amongst the people of the city.

I caressed my other pets and  went to get food for Chaos;

A bizarre sight awaited me when I reached the kitchen,

The tigress was licking her well painted nails,

And the color was a bright red.

She also wore studs and a necklace,

Which shone in the luminous light of the kitchen bulb.

I found some milk for Chaos and with a bowl in hand,

I went in search for him but nowhere was he found,

I searched inside and outside but I had lost him,

At the end I was all stricken and panicked,

I was still asking,

“Where is Chaos?”

By this time I woke up from this vivid dream,

But it was stuck in my head the whole day.

Trying to make sense out of this fantastical dream,

The question still revolves in my head,

A sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and my heart in flutters,

Whenever I ask, “Where is Chaos?”

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

MILES

“A Tale of a Bond which is Boundless”

I  am the first rays of the sun as they touch you in the morning,

I am the cool breeze that provides you solace,

Under the scorching afternoon sun.

I am in the trees that provide you shade,

I am also the whistling wind that passes through them,

Calming your nerves when you are in unrest.

I am the raindrops falling from the sky,

Which soothe your distressed spirit.

I am the waves of the oceans and the seas,

When you stand and they come lapping at your feet,

I am the sound of the gushing currents,

Which you hear while traversing them.

 I am the sweat on your brow,

As you strive towards a steady growth;

I am the blood that seeps out from the injuries you incur,

on the path of progression.

I am the evenings that cool you down,

after a hard day’s work;

I am the moon that looks upon you night after night,

Watching you bear the pain inside,

As you advance in life.

I am the tears that fall from your eyes,

When you feel lost.

I am the shadow that always remains with you,

Even when you are treading in solitude.

I am the soul that pulsates inside you,

A reminder that even with the MILES between us,

You are not on this journey alone.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

EGO & DISTANCE

“A Tale of Distance playing the Devil again”

It was harsh for me to see them breaking down,

He wanted to pretend he was happy,

And she appeared to be smiling too.

I was stuck in the middle of this pretense,

Not knowing what to do?

 

She wanted me to talk to him,

Telling him that she wasn’t suitable for him;

He wanted me to distract him,

As hearing about her,

Pricked him to the core.

 

Their love had blossomed right in front of me,

It was a bitter blow to me,

Watching them drifting apart;

I watched upon helpless,

As my words were deemed useless and couldn’t play their part.

 

As I heard her voice over the call,

Her voice wavering at every word,

Trying to hold the emotions in.

He wanted to free her off the shackles,

Thinking she wanted this all along.

The promises of eternal love,

On the path shaping into matrimony,

Got lost somewhere as the journey came to a grievous ending.

 

She wanted to apologize,

But kept hunting for the words to do so,

He wanted to make amends

But he was tired of trying every time.

Each waited for the other to regret

And the feelings came to a distressing end.

 

I looked upon feeling powerless,

A mere spectator as two lovers were wrenched apart,

I saw them fading away;

As Ego became the Ditch again,

The Distance had played the Devil yet again.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

WE

“A Tale of Eternally Bound Souls”

The time moved stealthily on the astral plane.

Our souls sat on the banks of a calm river listening to it’s constant flow.

I looked at you as you stared into the distance;

Trying to disentangle the chaos in your head.

Our life journeys have always been in synchronicity,

I could feel the intense turmoil of painful emotions your soul was undergoing;

I had been there before and could feel it surging inside me again through you.

 

I wanted to tell you that I was a reflection of you,

I wanted you to know,

The beauty you saw in me was a mirror to what lay in your depth,

Under the raging whirlwinds of despair;

But not a word did I utter.

 

I simply intertwined my hands with yours,

My fingers lacing through yours,

Filling the gaps in between them;

Staring into the distance with you,

Letting the silence speak for itself.

 

We are still living in that plane sitting on those very banks,

Knowing it will take time.

I will wait for you to heal  but those entwined hands in that quiet solitude,

Will be a reminder to you;

You won’t be alone,

As you heal your wounded self and make a steady progress.

 

The souls on that astral plane know,

There is no ME in this union,

It is either YOU or WE.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

KING & QUEEN

“A Short Tale of a Bond between two Strong Individuals”

She is the Queen of Diplomacy,

An Alpha;

Who becomes a shy victim at times.

He is the King of Sarcasm,

A Dominator;

Who becomes a satanic ensnarement at times.

When she twists and  blurs talk;

He gives cut throat,

With an impressive candor.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

HUES

“A Tale of the Contrasting Shades of a Woman”

She was not born a warrior,

She has been forged into one.

She wears her scars proudly.

She belongs to nobody but her freedom,

And she loves the ones she cares for more than her freedom.

She is a free soul.

Her past has strengthened her.

She is forbearing and forgiving.

She is perceptive as well as sensitive.

She is brutal withal ruthless.

She cares the most, expects the least and braces herself for the worst.

She won’t ever quit on you.

She can  heal and mend you but

Beware!!

She has an Angelic Divinity about her that hides the Satan underneath.

She holds the powers of infernal destruction,

Which can convert,

Even shattered smithereens to Ashes and blow them into Oblivion.

So, Don’t compel her to reveal her darker shades.

Love her if she is kind to you,

but Fear her,

if you have forced out the darkness in her.

Her contrasting HUES;

Are an Essence that can make you,

but if pushed too far,

Are Deadly enough to break you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

TSAR

“A short Tale about the Ruler of the Mind, Heart, Body & Soul”

The Fury of the tempest reminds me,

of the Raging Storm inside me;

The one causing the Turmoil,

is oblivious to it.

He is the TSAR,

of my Mind, Heart, Body and Soul;

The longing for him is,

what the Romanians call DOR.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

FINAL KEY

“A Tale of the Last Key to a now locked up Heart”

It stabbed me like a thousand knives,

Worse than any pain I had felt before,

as without a reason you barged off.

You said that you did not want me to have anything for you or anyone as it would be good for me,

You didn’t need to,

I had decided long back you would be my heart’s last key.

I was screaming inside when you said goodbye,

I wanted you to stop and give an honest answer to my why;

All you said was it was something I wouldn’t understand,

So I bid adieu with a quiet bye.

No, my final words did not hold any anger,

They just held a sorrowful sigh,

I reconciled with my fate as you made me leave when I was right at your door.

The tears pricked my eyes and flowed freely as I collapsed on my knees,

But soon I got up and laughed bitterly,

as what I had predicted had finally come true.

I don’t hold any grudges and forgiveness is a trait I had learnt long ago,

but there is nothing to forgive here as I don’t believe either of us was at fault.

It was so abrupt that it left me dumbstruck,

Everything seemed normal and then it turned into a debacle.

It was the sudden isolation that brought the mind numbing pain,

You needn’t worry as it is nothing new;

People I get attached to keep leaving time and again.

But this time around there is something different,

The pain I feel seems alien,

It surpasses the limits of my severe bouts of depression,

yet suicidal thoughts I have not considered as an option.

I am at a phase where I cannot beg or plead anyone to stay,

it was one of the reasons why I didn’t push you for an explanation as you strayed away.

Grateful I am to you for making me feel and believe in eternal love again,

Thankful too for coming into my life and being there in the darkest hours,

and keeping me sane.

I don’t know what came over you,

I was left hanging in mid air in a cloud of confusion,

It was the last thing I expected from you.

I don’t blame you for anything,

Changing your path was your right;

The heartache is that you felt I wasted my time trying to figure you out,

when all I wanted was to discover the colors that you held abound.

I never felt you would break this bond,

You could have remained as a friend,

But without any inference you drove off;

Leaving me with a raging storm of emotions inside.

I know there must be a major cause,

So I backed off giving you your time and space;

Just that it still hurts to know,

That I wasn’t deemed worthy to understand what you were going through.

I can gauge the turmoil in your soul even from afar,

I can only hope time will heal all.

I know you care,

So don’t worry I will be fine,

Is all I can say in the end.

You are free to enter,

You are free to leave,

Still says the doorway of my life to my inspiration and my locked up heart’s

FINAL KEY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SATANIC BAIT

“A Tale of the instances that made HER fall for her SATANIC BAIT”

He was captivating and alluring.

He had her bewitched by his mere presence.

His chivalry and ability to behave feral and untamed when required, made him irresistible.

He was a deadly combination of a bad boy who was also a good man.

He crawled into her mind and soul everyday using his imagination to touch her skin and mark her as his territory, with a passion none could envisage.

The nights were enthralling and the days left her yearning for more.

He was akin to a SATANIC BAIT, luring her into forgetting all rationale.

Her passion for him mounted with each passing moment as he pushed her into the depths of the obscure chasm of her own ardent desires.

He was neither an obsession nor an addiction yet he was intoxicating.

His bewitching charm exposed her carnal desires and he reveled in it.

She had the premonition that resistance was futile.

Soon she had the cognizance of succumbing to the innate thirst and the deep rooted yearning.

The intensity of the insatiable passion that he had built up hit her like the fiery breath of a dragon, consuming the body and soul.

He was like a drug to her.

He made her experience a euphoric high everyday.

She delved into the deepest and darkest desires of the night with him.

He was like an ocean of contradictions and she lost herself in its abyss.

He was akin to the enticement of the devil especially sent to ensnare her.

As she scrolled through his photographs one day she realised she was falling for him.

He touched her in a manner nobody else could delving in right to her core.

Her friend’s words echoed in her ears “He’s got real guts and balls”, she remembered blushing a tiny bit at that but not enough to relate the story.

There was a glow about her as she had smiled, the one she had lost in the past months.

It was a reminder of all that he was and always had been.

 

She started waiting for him,

He became a constant presence on her mind.

He started to wander  her dreamland too.

The moments with him were the ones when she felt desired and appreciated.

She reached the epoch where she got the sensation of a safe haven.

It was the juncture where her heart knew that even the ‘savage’ inside her was done for.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

CORE

“An Ode to the Iron woman of my Life: My Mother”

 She is tenacious and she is bold,

She is the CORE strength of my being.

She is freedom, she is care,

She is the woman who lets my wilderness, freely flow;

As she believes adventure is a way of finding your soul.

She is my backbone, she is my pillar,

She has been my crutch through my failures.

She is a teacher and sometimes a friend

yet both of us stay at loggerheads.

                                        

The dynamics of our relationship are such,

Like a lion and a bull coming in touch.

We  remain calmly in each other’s domain,

but a slight ignition awakens the Alphas in us;

And makes all hell raise.

We both revel in nature,

We tend to loose ourselves in it.

Travel is how we find solace,

The only time when there are no tussels;

And we match each other’s pace.

I never express much,

I have never been the kind.

It is in my anatomy I say;

As lesser display of affection,

is something from you that I have imbibed.

Our turbulent connection is one of a kind,

But that is exactly how we bind.

 I have changed over the years,

It took you long to realise;

And I know it still leaves you frustrated at times.

Till now you had been in search,

of the impression of your innocent child;

Which you were never able to find.

I have countless flaws,

Never have I been the perfect child;

Still you have stood by me through it all.

Cold and callous I have been called,

Yet what I have put you through,

brings tears to my eyes;

I want to apologize for all my wrongs.

Life has tested you time and again,

I had been watching it since chidhood;

but it was when the harsh realities of life made sense,

that the hurdles you faced, I understood.

I am a practical person as you very well know,

so I rarely say the phrase;

 I love and admire you,

For me you are a divine entity in play.

Wonderwoman, Superwoman, I have seen them all;

I can see their personification,

when my eyes, upon you, I lay.

I try to respect and love you through my actions,

yet my piercing words make everything go astray.

I know your heart is all embracing and forgiving,

yet I want to apologize for all the things said and done;

your blessings and never ending support for the road ahead is all I ask.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018