WAIT

The tale of her never ending wait.

It’s funny how each time she is at her gate,

Her eyes flicker towards the corner towards her house,

Like you would round the corner any moment,

The way you had promised years back,

This is the story of her WAIT.

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At times she just shakes her head,

Knowing the remote possibility of it ever happening,

She often laughs at her own anticipation,

The dashed hopes and the futility of the waiting,

At times she wonders why she even waits.

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Still every morning, every night,

Anytime she stands at her gate,

Her eyes still rove at the corner,

Constantly awaiting your arrival,

She imagines herself blushing when she would see you at her place,

Each time you don’t appear, she bows her head and goes inside,

Only to resume the wait again.

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And this cycle continues forever,

Each day, every day, it never ends,

The corner has started corroding still you haven’t arrived,

With forlorn eyes that blur at times,

She still looks towards it,

This is how she waits.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s Urge ©|2020

My Paws

A Dedication post for my six pairs of paws that have been my constant companions. She probably thinks I am strangling her in this picture. Haha!

During a particularly rough monsoon season,

Eleven years ago,

A tiny being lay outside my house,

She was injured and she was in pain,

As the rains poured hard that night,

She looked at me with her beady eyes,

I brought a blanket outside,

Wrapped her up and brought her inside,

Nobody came to claim her for very long,

She became a part of our family,

She was small and she was frail, we called her Tinki which means tiny,

Eleven years down , she still hasn’t grown much, delicate as a butterfly,

My constant companion, her paw in mine,

All I have had in the worst of times.

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Six years ago I heard about a litter of puppies,

I went to have a look at them,

A small little head popped out and looked at me,

His owner dangled him in front of me, wanting to get rid of him,

I took an immediate liking to this overly active being,

Took him home to give Tinki a companion,

Called him Rocky as that was the movie playing at the time,

Years down the lane, he is as active as he was as a pup,

No wall is too high and no gate can stop him,

When I am sad he rolls his head in my lap,

And all my worries and stress fly away.

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Five years ago my uncle called me to his home,

I went and was surprised to see a big, fat pup wrapped in a towel,

He said she was two months old,

It was quite unbelievable considering her size,

She was a gift to my uncle who couldn’t care for her,

So she was gifted to me and I brought her home happily.

Wrapped her in the same blanket in which I had brought Tinki in,

Named her Lica, the first dog in space since she looked so unique,

Five years down she is a giant beauty,

Possessive and protective of everyone in the family,

Last year before my birthday she became a mother,

Gave me the most beautiful gifts in the form of six pups,

Whenever I feel low, she comes and sits with me,

Nuzzles my face and my tears dry quickly.

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I call them my paws,

More loyal than most humans,

They Shower me with the purest form of unconditional love,

To all those who say I have kept them unnecessarily, I pay no heed,

Because their love and silent companionship has kept me alive,

They have helped me pass the darkest phases of life,

Their love is unadulterated to the very core,

It nurtures me as well as my soul,

They are all god’s gifts,

They are all I could ever need.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa)

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

What is Closure?

Firstly, I am really sorry that I haven’t been able to stay regular despite having promised the same.

Just been promoting my book and hence, I have been a bit busy. So I have decided to do a short question answer session for the readers.

A short poetry on a closure I got. What is your take on closure?

I had been clinging to false hopes,

Despite knowing the truth,

I stayed wanting to bind him with love,

A love to which he paid no heed,

He fell for another and I was left alone,

Many nights I spent crying myself hoarse.

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He and I were a story I wanted to tell,

And as I began penning it down,

Somewhere through those pages I found a closure,

Not all stories conclude themselves,

Not all stories are happily ever after tales,

Sometimes it’s necessary for us to give ourselves the closures we seek,

We deserve it to thrive again, it’s the Soul’s need.

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When I saw the author copies of my book and went through them, I had sighed. It was my closure to a beautiful chapter in my life and I was really glad. Sometimes we get closures when we least expect them and that’s what happened with me. It brought me a peace I hadn’t experienced in ages. My first book will remain close to my heart, for many reasons and this is one of them.

What are your thoughts on Closure? Let me know in the comments section.

Excerpt: Preordained

A quote from the beginning of my book.

“Because there was nobody like you, there is nobody like you. Nights I have spent thinking I don’t deserve you but as time passes our souls come meandering through. Love for you was preordained, destiny never gave me a choice when it came to you.”
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Vanessa, the protagonist of my story is an inherent part of me. After all she is partly inspired from me. You We is her story, a paradox of sorts, a Manizer as well as a hopeless romantic who is immensely in love with her hometown Dehradun and has refused to leave it despite the opportunities. Many do lust after her but will this woman find true, eternal love is the question?
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I had always been an avid reader and I have so many books that at times I wonder if I should open a library. Infact, I sell books each year just to make space for more. As a child I grew up on Ruskin Bond and Enid Blyton. Each time I visited Landour (Bond’s abode), I often wondered how it would feel to stay there and write. I always imagined myself sitting on one of the benches in the lap of nature and write my first book. That had always been my dream.
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Unfortunately, the experience of writing my first book was quite an unbelievable one. My mid life crisis was a global pandemic but yes, fortunately it gave me time to follow my passion and my parents supported me so I did. After all ever since I started writing my blog (link in bio) they wanted me to be a published author. And I love them for that! Also, funnily enough, I am an ardent reader of Classics and I pride in my classic collections but I ended up writing a youthful romance in the most simplistic language (probably for the younger generation of millenials and the 21st century kids) Haha! It took even me by surprise as it is quite different from the poetry I write.
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I just hope people read it and like it. And to all who read it do leave your reviews!

INTERNATIONAL PRINT BOOKS:
Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1648506267
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1648506267

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Now available across all platforms.
PRINT BOOKS INDIA:
Amazon.in: https://www.amazon.in/dp/1648506267
Flipkart: https://www.flipkart.com/you-we/p/itm0a37e53729ab5?pid=9781648506260

For all the E-BOOK READERS out there:
Amazon Kindle: https://www.amazon.in/You-We-Coincidental-Vanya-Rajwar-ebook/dp/B08BKJ3RM7
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/in/en/ebook/you-we
Google Playstore: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Vanya_Rajwar_You_We?id=12jsDwAAQBAJ
Apple books: https://books.apple.com/us/book/id1523141870

I hope people read it. And if you like it do leave a review!

Also I would love to interact with people who visit my blog and know more about you. I might be SOCIALLY ERRATIC but I love to converse. Haha! I am trying to be more interactive on a daily basis now. So, Do comment, mail or text me!

Mr. WB (Writer’s Block)

A Childish and Innocent Tale of how I finally cracked my Writer’s Block and befriended Mr. WB.

We were sitting together yesterday again,

Mr. Writer’s Block and me,

Love is like a beautiful horizon I began,

Not really said he.

My pen swayed and I dropped it down,

As my words failed and no thoughts could be formed by my mind,

Mr. WB looked elated as I stared at him in despair,

He had again succeeded in blocking my word flow and tide.

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You know it’s fine, said he,

I pay a visit to every writer now and then,

Why don’t you just welcome me and let me be?

I haven’t visited my blog in days, I say,

Do you realise despite trying to be regular how erratic I seem?

All thanks to you, if truth be said.

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I looked at Mr. WB infuriated,

As he sat there sipping his tea,

I was sure he was smirking behind that cuppa.

He observed me for a while,

Glancing over his cup of tea,

I will leave in a few days said he,

Till then, there is not much you can do about it,

Can’t we be friends till I decide to leave?

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I left the room in a huff,

Deciding to roam on the roof,

Looking for inspiration in the sky and the trees,

Cursing Mr. WB whole heartedly.

This was when the breeze whispered to me,

Hey, she said, fallen in love again? Heart been broken again?

or Feeling alone again?

None of these, I replied, just that Mr. WB is on a long visit it seems.

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The breeze broke into a laugh,

I pouted at her angrily,

My book is soon to be out, I say,

I need to stay regular, you know.

She thought it through with lots of aahs and hmms,

She discussed with the trees and the skies,

At last she made her way to me and said,

Ever tried making Mr. WB your muse?

Give it a try you just might become allies.

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I was lost in thought as I came down from the roof,

Mr. WB was still sipping his tea,

Will you be my muse? I ask,

That will be new, he laughs,

So this childish poem was the end result,

When Mr. WB became my muse.

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The better part was we became bosom friends,

We ate and drank together,

And the best part was I saw him off later,

He seemed quite pleased as he said his goodbyes,

Next time he probably won’t visit without a prior call again,

But its Mr. WB and with him we can never be sure!

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

BLOGGER RECOGNITION AWARD

So, this is going to be the first time that I am participating in an award nomination. I had been nominated when I first started the blog but as I am erratic I could never revert back.

So I am going to dedicate this post to the award I have recently been nominated for.

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1. Thank the blogger who nominated you. Provide a link to the blog.

2.Write a post to show your award.

3. Brief story of how your blog started.

4. Two pieces of advice to new bloggers.

5. Select up to 15 bloggers you want to give this award to.

6. Comment or ping back and provide a link to the post to the blogs you have nominated.

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First and foremost I would like to thank Vikas for nominating me for this award. He has a wonderful blog filled with the latest information of Cricket. He is a true cricket buff just like a lot of us. Do check out his blog at Cricket Vikas.

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After a tryst with various avenues which included journalism, Modelling and Event Management, I realised writing is my true calling. As I wrote content for websites and blogs alike, I observed people and couples around me a lot. I started writing about their inert desires. Also around this time I fell deeply in love with a man who used to write poetry in answer to mine. He became my inspiration and that led to the birth of my blog. Even though we aren’t together and his heart is owned by another; he still is one of my inspirations. After all, love is not always about conquering someone. Also, being an ambivert who doesn’t share her emotions much, this was an outlet for me to portray the various phases and whirlwind of emotions I go through in my life.

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Being very erratic on my blog, I am not someone who should be giving anyone any type of advice but as the rules say so.

1. Be REGULAR: As someone who is never regular, I would say if you start being consistent in your posts your blog you will garner more followers and likes. You should also be consistent in reading and commenting on other blogs.

2. THEME: Instead of merely pouring out your thoughts do so in a systematic manner. A blog with a theme catches more attention and has more followers.

Eg: ME. Haha! My life story is my own muse. So, I use my own photographs in my blog.

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So, please don’t mind if I miss you out since I am so erratic. These are fifteen of the blogs that I enjoy reading. So here goes.

1. Dracul Van Helsing

2. Perditus

3. Bon Repos Gites

4. SIMRAN TOTLANI

5. Life Tube

6. A Quest for the Uncliche

7. The unspoken

8. neseknows

9. Writing my thoughts

10. Tap ON

11. Freddie Mercury

12. Avid Observer

13. A Phoenix Rising

14. Something more than Nothing

15. Equinoxio21

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Thankyou!

If you want to get in touch with me mail me at vanya3rajwar@gmail.com

Letting Go

Tale of a woman who is ready to Let Go of the past and wants to start afresh

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It’s a funny story of life,

I fell in love with a man,

One with whom I never wanted to,

He loved another so I let him go.

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I fell for another, his friend,

With a heightened intensity,

Stood by him through hard times,

He started crushing on another,

Later fell for her too,

So I let him go.

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The previous man returned,

With new promises and more efforts,

But I still held the other in my heart,

Despite his loyalty,

I couldn’t invest myself totally,

Not one to twist my words for long,

I told him so,

Yet again, I let him go.

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The other man has many dreams,

He still is in love with another it seems,

I wonder if he will ever return,

But disappointments and dashed hopes I have had enough,

I have given myself a closure numerous times,

But this time a proper closure I do seek.

Might be a joke at times,

So the book I am writing will be the closure I seek,

A new beginning and two chapters closed,

That’s what I feel the ending will be.

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I am learning and growing,

I am changing and evolving,

I know it’s time for me to free myself of their snares,

It’s time for me to rediscover myself for what I am.

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Finally, I have realised it’s time,

As a friend I will probably still be there for them too,

I am proud of the woman they have forged me into,

Despite having promised a forever and eternity,

The woman I have become,

She is finally Letting Go.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. (VRa)©

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

Strange Dream

From VVe to yoU, Because VVe misses yoU

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I had a strange dream last night,
It was daytime,
I stood at my gate,
As you rounded the corner towards my place,
Bag in hand, you looked at me,
Oh! your charming smile had me hooked
all over again,
My heart fluttered as my eyes lowered,
Trying to hide the warm blushes,
There were emotions indescribable,
As I felt the warmth,
I hadn’t felt in ages,
My heart was where it belonged,
As my soul walked towards me,
I knew my wait was at an end,
I was complete,
I was home.

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“Because my heart may belong to my hometown but yoU own my very soul. I knew it was yours to belong from the moment I first set eyes on you. – VRa

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Note: My name starts with V and the person who inspired this their name starts with U. So the initials UV, yoU- VVe.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa©

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

INSTINCT

“She wants to prove me and my intuition wrong. She says I am still his muse, that there is no other,” I said to her.

She laughed, “Someone should tell her that questioning your instinct; a woman’s Instinct is like saying the illusory horizon exists. Unlike the horizon you can’t see it but it is there. A woman just sits there with her intuition, it knows facts that disillusioned people think they are hiding.”

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa©

February|2020