EVOLVE

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“A Tale of Evolving through the Distances and Silences”

Our texts and calls are never regular,

They say it is required if you are in love,

and I still ask Why?

As our habits are so synchronized,

Like the petals and sepals of our favorite flowers,

Just like Lilies and Orchids we are very similar.

 

You are my first thought in the morning and the last one at night,

I crave for the safe haven your arms provide.

I long for your whispers in my ears and your hands on my bare skin,

You are the love and care that lightened the dark doorway of my life.

 

Even through the silences of our voices and words,

We have to mould ourselves and grow,

Trust me I always have your back as you progress,

As I know I finally have someone who won’t let me capsize,

Someone with whom I can be myself as there is nothing to suppress.

 

Every time we get in touch again,

It will be the same,

I promise nothing will have changed.

As we EVOLVE,

Even with the space and distance,

Our souls will never be apart.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AN ODE TO YOU

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“A Tale of finding true Freedom, Completion and Home”

Suddenly I felt free,

In a snap I felt complete,

My poetry and my words finally made sense,

I still didn’t know where I was headed,

but in the same instant I knew I wasn’t alone as I had you.

I had a smile on my face from end to end,

visited by the occasional blush,

This time I knew the reason was you.

 

I will never forget the year we met,

I will tell you the reason why,

When I returned back to the place I belong,

It felt distant and alien.

It was the rains all over again,

Yet they were different,

The valley was having its typical monsoonal rains,

the ones which had evaded it for years.

The constantly falling raindrops poured upon me,

Relentless and continuous,

Just like you,

Leaving me breathless,

They singed my skin,

Igniting the passion,

The way your touch and words do.

 

I remember each second of those few hours,

I relive them everyday,

When you held my hand I felt secure,

When your arms were around me,

I knew I had found my home.

When we parted ways I wanted to run back to you,

I wanted to hug you tight,

I wanted back the safe haven your arms provide.

 

I was happy I had met you,

My inspiration and the person who knows the real me through and through,

Yet there were tears in my eyes,

It felt like I had left a part of my soul behind.

I kept looking at you till you disappeared from the sidewalk and my view,

The eyes in  search for a last vestige to hold on to you.

I will never forget the eyes that stared at me that day,

Which made me feel I was the most beautiful woman,

They had ever been laid upon.

I will never forget the smile, That gave me butterflies,

Made me such a nervous wreck,

That I could not even look into those smoldering eyes.

 

When I was returning back,

My feet were heavy, the flight home was not easy,

There was a smile with a cheer and the eyes glistened with the tears.

When I reached back home,

It was no longer the place I belonged.

I had left my very soul on the sidewalk,

on that serendipitous day.

 

I still remember the whole story,

I still can’t say it out loud,

I still weave it with words,

Because I still can’t express as you very well know.

 

The memories are a keepsake,

Till the time we meet again,

Till then let’s progress together,

Let the new chapters unfurl and unfold,

Let us embrace the changes that occur,

The distance and time betwixt is still the same yet different,

Let’s hope we will be by each other’s side as always,

Making each other stronger,

In our journey to reach the destination unknown.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

WHY

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“A Tale of finding the Answer to the Ever haunting Why”

 

I just want you to know,

I will always be here.

When you don’t want to share,

I won’t persist and I won’t chase,

Even if I want to delve deep into.

When you are busy, when its your time,

Your pain calling out, wanting to be alone,

Through those silences I will stay,

No, I am not one to stray,

Just know I am there,

A part of your soul somewhere.

Broken whenever you are,

We will piece it together,

The pieces that haunt you the most,

Is where we will start.

Even when you fail to say it,

I will understand,

I won’t stop your tears from falling,

I will let you vent it out,

As your pain echoes in me,

Burning me inside, searing my heart.

Nights and Days I have cried,

Thinking I don’t deserve you,

Not knowing how I always got pulled back to you ,

The confusion has now abated,

Stranded and alone I am no more,

WE is what we have been creating since time eternal,

this the soul made me realize,

So I am here till eternity,

I finally have the answer to my WHY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©| 2018

MONSOON YEARNINGS

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“A Tale of the Longing that arrives with the Monsoons”

The morning is dark yet refreshing.

The clouds thundering above me.

Sitting outside in the open I am thinking of you,

As the rain drops fall upon my skin;

I imagine you in them,

They sear my skin with a burning passion,

As they trickle down my body,

And serenade me.

 

The afternoon is cold,

There is silence everywhere,

Except for the soft pitter patter of raindrops.

I am on my bed listening to the sounds when,

There is a sudden urge to hold you.

Despite knowing you aren’t here,

I want to touch you.

The bedsheets crumple beneath my hands,

As I claw at them,

Calling out your name;

Disturbing the peace of the scene.

Those hidden desires resurface again,

The delirious moans and the whispers that follow,

With a mere imagination of your presence,

Titillate me to the core,

Driving me insane.

 

In the evening I feel spent and tired,

I sit outside again,

Staring at the mist settling upon the hills beyond.

They look so beautiful, I want to capture them,

Wishing I could share the landscape with you.

 

The night arrives bright and ethereal,

The moon shining upon me,

A velvety blanket of stars surrounding it.

It looks crystal clear yet hides the night’s enigma underneath..

I remember your love for the nights and smile,

As I realized I have fallen for you and it has been a while.

 

Memories come rushing through and I am reminded of the time with you,

The sky still remains the only constant that we share,

As another day of the Monsoons passes,

With me yearning for you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

ETERNITY

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“A Short Tale of a Lifetime of Romance”

 

When I am with him,

I don’t want him to look at another woman longingly,

Wishing it had worked out with her.

 

Instead I want to be the woman,

He can look right into the eye,

And thank his stars that it never worked out with others.

I want to be the woman,

Who is recognized by his heart and soul,

As the one;

Who has loved him Eternally,

And will stand by him through Eternity.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

TERRITORY

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“The Tale of the Submission of an Alpha”

No, she was not waiting for a knight in shining armor,

Neither was she on a lookout for a Prince Charming;

Nor did she want the moons and stars.

All she craved for was a real man who could dare to date a strong, independent woman,

Someone who had the mettle to tolerate her stubborness,

A man bold enough to correct her if she was wrong;

She wanted a man who was proud to call her his own,

A man who accepted her for who she was.

An Alpha as she was,

Fierce, Stable and Wild;

She never expected to find such a guy.

But she got a lot more when he arrived on the scene,

A man who questioned her dominance at every stage.

She never feared the fire as she was one herself,

But with him everything was different.

Her confidence wavered for the very first time,

It still does whenever she is around him.

She became a nervous wreck,

And The butterflies he gave her;

Made even her words lose track.

He was a man who loved all shades of her,

And her darker shades intrigued him even more.

She clearly acknowledged his dominance,

And understood her defiance was in vain.

But the hostile Alpha inside,

Refused to be tamed,

It kept testing her mate;

Trying to hurt him every few miles,

Just to make her submission seem Worthwhile.

When he refused to budge,

Even the Alpha got hooked,

The fact that got her addicted to him;

He knew how lethal she was,

Yet had the audacity to mark her as his TERRITORY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

TSAR

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“A short Tale about the Ruler of the Mind, Heart, Body & Soul”

The Fury of the tempest reminds me,

of the Raging Storm inside me;

The one causing the Turmoil,

is oblivious to it.

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He is the TSAR,

of my Mind, Heart, Body and Soul;

The longing for him is,

what the Romanians call DOR.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

FINAL KEY

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“A Tale of the Last Key to a now locked up Heart”

It stabbed me like a thousand knives,

Worse than any pain I had felt before,

as without a reason you barged off.

You said that you did not want me to have anything for you or anyone as it would be good for me,

You didn’t need to,

I had decided long back you would be my heart’s last key.

I was screaming inside when you said goodbye,

I wanted you to stop and give an honest answer to my why;

All you said was it was something I wouldn’t understand,

So I bid adieu with a quiet bye.

No, my final words did not hold any anger,

They just held a sorrowful sigh,

I reconciled with my fate as you made me leave when I was right at your door.

The tears pricked my eyes and flowed freely as I collapsed on my knees,

But soon I got up and laughed bitterly,

as what I had predicted had finally come true.

I don’t hold any grudges and forgiveness is a trait I had learnt long ago,

but there is nothing to forgive here as I don’t believe either of us was at fault.

It was so abrupt that it left me dumbstruck,

Everything seemed normal and then it turned into a debacle.

It was the sudden isolation that brought the mind numbing pain,

You needn’t worry as it is nothing new;

People I get attached to keep leaving time and again.

But this time around there is something different,

The pain I feel seems alien,

It surpasses the limits of my severe bouts of depression,

yet suicidal thoughts I have not considered as an option.

I am at a phase where I cannot beg or plead anyone to stay,

it was one of the reasons why I didn’t push you for an explanation as you strayed away.

Grateful I am to you for making me feel and believe in eternal love again,

Thankful too for coming into my life and being there in the darkest hours,

and keeping me sane.

I don’t know what came over you,

I was left hanging in mid air in a cloud of confusion,

It was the last thing I expected from you.

I don’t blame you for anything,

Changing your path was your right;

The heartache is that you felt I wasted my time trying to figure you out,

when all I wanted was to discover the colors that you held abound.

I never felt you would break this bond,

You could have remained as a friend,

But without any inference you drove off;

Leaving me with a raging storm of emotions inside.

I know there must be a major cause,

So I backed off giving you your time and space;

Just that it still hurts to know,

That I wasn’t deemed worthy to understand what you were going through.

I can gauge the turmoil in your soul even from afar,

I can only hope time will heal all.

I know you care,

So don’t worry I will be fine,

Is all I can say in the end.

You are free to enter,

You are free to leave,

Still says the doorway of my life to my inspiration and my locked up heart’s

FINAL KEY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018