Men I dated: PART 1: OVER? OKAY!

So I have decided to do a series of posts on the various men I have dated. What inspired me? Well besides being my own muse, my friends often tell me your love life is nothing short of a bollywood movie. Haha! So, let’s begin.

Number 1: He was dating three others!

I call myself a tormented romantic,

Not because I don’t believe in love,

It’s because of the men that I have dated,

And their extremely unique antics.

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I fell in puppy love at school,

Don’t we love the bad boys when we are in that pool,

He was a stuntsman and a rugged human,

If you ask me now I would call such a boy a pure ruffian,

And how the girls used to go gaga over him,

Is beyond what today, I can fathom.

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I was a good friend of his,

People often teased us about it,

One day he proposed to me out of the blue,

Was it genuine or on a whim?

That, I never understood.

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I enjoyed the attention for a good three years,

The popularity that comes from dating a well known ruffian,

Whenever he stood outside my class,

Everyone would hoot and comments they would pass.

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You would think we were happy and in bliss,

But three years later I found out,

He was dating one of my friends’ friend.

What unfolded after that was a trauma in the past,

But extremely laughable when I think of it,

As puppy love very rarely lasts.

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Well as I said it was traumatic for me,

He had started dating another,

Within the first half year,

Of when he started to date me.

After that he had been on a dating spree,

As he had another one too in his kitty,

With my acquaintance being the latest addition to it.

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My town was quite small and conserved when I was a kid,

So hiding four girlfriends from each other,

I must say Kudos to such talent!

Finally I did confront him one day,

Told him we needed to end this farce completely,

Three years? he had asked, Over?

I had a knot in my throat as I nodded,

All he said was Okay!

As he shrugged and walked away.

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I had looked at his receding figure in the distance,

Not once did he turn that fateful day,

The tears flowed out of my eyes,

And that was how I got cheated on in my first relationship itself.

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I laugh out loud today at the incidence,

And Oh! He did come back with apologies,

And do you know when?

A good four years later, with a heartfelt one,

But what good was it by then?

And this is how our romance ended.

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He is a good friend as of today,

But he still feels guilty for his infidelity,

Even though I have forgiven him for his childish capers,

I can’t help him with the remorse he feels.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

My Paws

A Dedication post for my six pairs of paws that have been my constant companions. She probably thinks I am strangling her in this picture. Haha!

During a particularly rough monsoon season,

Eleven years ago,

A tiny being lay outside my house,

She was injured and she was in pain,

As the rains poured hard that night,

She looked at me with her beady eyes,

I brought a blanket outside,

Wrapped her up and brought her inside,

Nobody came to claim her for very long,

She became a part of our family,

She was small and she was frail, we called her Tinki which means tiny,

Eleven years down , she still hasn’t grown much, delicate as a butterfly,

My constant companion, her paw in mine,

All I have had in the worst of times.

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Six years ago I heard about a litter of puppies,

I went to have a look at them,

A small little head popped out and looked at me,

His owner dangled him in front of me, wanting to get rid of him,

I took an immediate liking to this overly active being,

Took him home to give Tinki a companion,

Called him Rocky as that was the movie playing at the time,

Years down the lane, he is as active as he was as a pup,

No wall is too high and no gate can stop him,

When I am sad he rolls his head in my lap,

And all my worries and stress fly away.

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Five years ago my uncle called me to his home,

I went and was surprised to see a big, fat pup wrapped in a towel,

He said she was two months old,

It was quite unbelievable considering her size,

She was a gift to my uncle who couldn’t care for her,

So she was gifted to me and I brought her home happily.

Wrapped her in the same blanket in which I had brought Tinki in,

Named her Lica, the first dog in space since she looked so unique,

Five years down she is a giant beauty,

Possessive and protective of everyone in the family,

Last year before my birthday she became a mother,

Gave me the most beautiful gifts in the form of six pups,

Whenever I feel low, she comes and sits with me,

Nuzzles my face and my tears dry quickly.

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I call them my paws,

More loyal than most humans,

They Shower me with the purest form of unconditional love,

To all those who say I have kept them unnecessarily, I pay no heed,

Because their love and silent companionship has kept me alive,

They have helped me pass the darkest phases of life,

Their love is unadulterated to the very core,

It nurtures me as well as my soul,

They are all god’s gifts,

They are all I could ever need.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa)

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

GREY

A Tale of a Woman stuck in the Grey Zones


With the beginning of a New Year,

Her Soul that was Withered and Shattered,

Went through a major transformation,

It was the long awaited moments of Spiritual Awakening,

As her Earth Realities changed,

She embraced her true persona and flew unfettered.

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She realised she was never an extreme,

Neither the Epitome of Good,

Nor a Paragon of Evil,

She was a Paradox,

Benign yet Impassive.

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She was never a Friend to be called upon for Benefits,

But then she was also not the Commitment that one called a Relationship,

She was a Strings Attached,

Never given a Closure,

Used in accordance to Whims and Fancies,

An Obscure and Cavernous bond of a Situationship.

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Somewhere down the lane of the year begone,

She lost her Passion for a Romance Eternal.

She wasn’t the one you’d want,

If you wanted an everlasting ardor,

She was one holding on to the last vestiges of humanity to feel Alive,

So all she can provide is Love Universal.

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She wasn’t the Fury nor was she the Calm,

Despite the Pandemonium within her heart and mind,

She seemed at Peace with her Inner Self ,

This impressed upon the watching eye,

And she appeared to them as Divine and Ethereal.

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However, at the end of it all,

The realization hit her long and hard,

The cognizance that she was neither the Black nor the White,

She was just somewhere betwixt,

A Perfect Meld of all the shades GREY;

She was Devoid of Sadness,

But No; There was no Happiness,

Just a Soulful Numbness.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©| 2019

SERENITY & PEACE

2018-03-11-19-35-12-271
“A Tale of Growing Up and attaining Peace”

People say I have changed.

I haven’t;

I just grew up with the passage of time.

I refused to be used and pushed around.

I stopped reaching out to people who did not reach out to me.

I Ā ceased to trust people who I knew would betray me.

I started depending on myself and began to value what I had.

I freed myself from the snares of the past and came out wiser.

I realised I had showered rarely seen selfless love on the undeserving.

I accepted the reality of life with a calm and reignited the fire within me.

I found my soul in the process and with it true SERENITY & PEACE.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018