Men I dated: PART 1: OVER? OKAY!

So I have decided to do a series of posts on the various men I have dated. What inspired me? Well besides being my own muse, my friends often tell me your love life is nothing short of a bollywood movie. Haha! So, let’s begin.

Number 1: He was dating three others!

I call myself a tormented romantic,

Not because I don’t believe in love,

It’s because of the men that I have dated,

And their extremely unique antics.

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I fell in puppy love at school,

Don’t we love the bad boys when we are in that pool,

He was a stuntsman and a rugged human,

If you ask me now I would call such a boy a pure ruffian,

And how the girls used to go gaga over him,

Is beyond what today, I can fathom.

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I was a good friend of his,

People often teased us about it,

One day he proposed to me out of the blue,

Was it genuine or on a whim?

That, I never understood.

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I enjoyed the attention for a good three years,

The popularity that comes from dating a well known ruffian,

Whenever he stood outside my class,

Everyone would hoot and comments they would pass.

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You would think we were happy and in bliss,

But three years later I found out,

He was dating one of my friends’ friend.

What unfolded after that was a trauma in the past,

But extremely laughable when I think of it,

As puppy love very rarely lasts.

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Well as I said it was traumatic for me,

He had started dating another,

Within the first half year,

Of when he started to date me.

After that he had been on a dating spree,

As he had another one too in his kitty,

With my acquaintance being the latest addition to it.

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My town was quite small and conserved when I was a kid,

So hiding four girlfriends from each other,

I must say Kudos to such talent!

Finally I did confront him one day,

Told him we needed to end this farce completely,

Three years? he had asked, Over?

I had a knot in my throat as I nodded,

All he said was Okay!

As he shrugged and walked away.

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I had looked at his receding figure in the distance,

Not once did he turn that fateful day,

The tears flowed out of my eyes,

And that was how I got cheated on in my first relationship itself.

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I laugh out loud today at the incidence,

And Oh! He did come back with apologies,

And do you know when?

A good four years later, with a heartfelt one,

But what good was it by then?

And this is how our romance ended.

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He is a good friend as of today,

But he still feels guilty for his infidelity,

Even though I have forgiven him for his childish capers,

I can’t help him with the remorse he feels.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

EXISTENCE

Tale of a Strong Woman with a Dead Soul who finds her Existence Pointless

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She wanted to be the girl in his poems,
The one he would never forget.
She wanted to be the girl in his sketches,
The one he would always need,
Just like the air he breathes.
She wanted to be the girl in his dreams,
The one he would fight for,
One he would forever be at the side of.

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Instead she became the girl who wrote odes to her pain,
In trying to become his muse,
She lost her own self.
The girl who pretended to be happy even when sad,
Tried to be strong even when weak,
All this just for him;
Her hollow eyes had no expression,
When she realised she was so replaceable, so easily forgotten.

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Even after all that, Lust driven men chased after her,
Trying to claw at the numb remains of a body, with a shattered soul,
Nobody seemed to care, she had emotions too.

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Left Uncared & Unloved for, people sing praises of her strength,
The girl who became her own muse.
A girl who seems stone cold,
Shrouded in a constant mystery,
One who loved and fought with all her being,
something the ones in her life failed to reciprocate.
A wounded tigress they call her,
But she is just a girl with a dead soul,
One whose tears fail to flow,
One who feels she has no regrets, To the extent that,
She finds her mere Existence pointless.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2019