MONSOON YEARNINGS

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“A Tale of the Longing that arrives with the Monsoons”

The morning is dark yet refreshing.

The clouds thundering above me.

Sitting outside in the open I am thinking of you,

As the rain drops fall upon my skin;

I imagine you in them,

They sear my skin with a burning passion,

As they trickle down my body,

And serenade me.

 

The afternoon is cold,

There is silence everywhere,

Except for the soft pitter patter of raindrops.

I am on my bed listening to the sounds when,

There is a sudden urge to hold you.

Despite knowing you aren’t here,

I want to touch you.

The bedsheets crumple beneath my hands,

As I claw at them,

Calling out your name;

Disturbing the peace of the scene.

Those hidden desires resurface again,

The delirious moans and the whispers that follow,

With a mere imagination of your presence,

Titillate me to the core,

Driving me insane.

 

In the evening I feel spent and tired,

I sit outside again,

Staring at the mist settling upon the hills beyond.

They look so beautiful, I want to capture them,

Wishing I could share the landscape with you.

 

The night arrives bright and ethereal,

The moon shining upon me,

A velvety blanket of stars surrounding it.

It looks crystal clear yet hides the night’s enigma underneath..

I remember your love for the nights and smile,

As I realized I have fallen for you and it has been a while.

 

Memories come rushing through and I am reminded of the time with you,

The sky still remains the only constant that we share,

As another day of the Monsoons passes,

With me yearning for you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

FLY

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“A Tale of A Woman answering those people who can’t bear to see her FLYING against Societal Norms”

I am not afraid to be the ugly duckling,

Being called different is what I find pleasing,

I don’t follow your societal norms,

So don’t judge me in accordance to your thoughts.

Don’t pass judgements on me,

Because I might look up to people,

For what they have gone through for me;

But you are not allowed to decree,

That I am a shadow to thee.

Shadows in relationships is what society decides,

I don’t follow those binds,

I am a personality that is unique on my own,

I don’t care what others think,

To each his own.

Don’t underestimate my achievements,

If I don’t show doesn’t mean I don’t know,

I can read your psyche well,

But till I don’t reach the levels I want to attain,

I will still keep my head calm and at an even pace.

Don’t think I am dying of neglect,

Please keep such thoughts to yourself,

Kids crave for the pampering and attention,

Heads turn  at a mature woman’s mere mention.

Just because I don’t fall in your circle,

Doesn’t mean I don’t have the ability to create a furore;

I am a raging storm kept under marvellous control inside,

Introverted I might be but you don’t want the tempest to reach outside,

It has the ability to destroy you if you collide.

You can call me ice cold or a burning fury,

It is a complex task to read me;

So refrain from stereotyping me.

Don’t blame me for sometimes letting it out,

I am not walking the path you pave,

I am in search for new horizons,

Don’t decide my acumen,

With your preconceived notions.

Don’t bring me on edge with your taunts,

Hurting people is not my goal;

It is not my clothes, behaviour or my past decisions

that define me all,

Showing me your shrewdness on that basis,

Proves your thought process shallow.

Don’t blame me for taking a stand,

I am not you,

And I am not scared of relaying this fact to you;

My perception and wisdom have a different take than yours,

Don’t try to fit them under your opinions and beliefs.

You haven’t been through the turmoil I have,

I keep everything under wraps,

There are a lot many things that have put me to test,

In the darker nights you weren’t present.

I don’t want to live in the past,

There are reasons I never look back,

I have changed a lot over the years,

You might not have noticed.

 I know who I am through and through,

That’s something you need to clearly know,

I am a Queen with her own choices;

I know the people who will stand by me are few,

That is the reason I keep my profile low.

I have escaped from the snares of the time gone by,

Don’t make me revisit it by bringing it up time and again.

I know how your mind is going to work,

So No this poem is not frustration being vented out,

It is not a tale of a rebel child who needs to mature;

This is just to make you understand that time has taken a toll,

I am not the girl you used to know,

I am a woman with dreams and goals,

A lady who knows her mettle,

And is not afraid to voice her opinions.

Now,

All I want in life is to soar high,

Because my wings were made to FLY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

THE POINT

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“A Satirical Tale about the Point whence I stopped believing in Eternal Love”

I am tired of pleading people to love me,

The realisation that my real self does not interest them,

has finally dawned on me.

All I want right now is for all these men;

to let me be.

I tried loving once,

it was a puppy love, the kind you fall in at school,

it seemed so pure and true.

It ended when I realised that he was a dunce,

Besides me, there were three others in the lieu.

Oh the perils of love!!

Never will I love again, I took an oath that day;

but then time passes and things tend to change,

And I wasn’t able to keep things at bay.

I fell in love again, the shock came,

when I read his status on facebook one day,

stating he was gay.

He ended things on this note with me;

how cruel and deceptive can this world be,

I realised to my utter dismay.

No! No! No! I absolutely won’t love again,

I kept reminding myself after this instance,

as I fought with the pain.

But God’s work was not over with me,

and love crept up yet again;

My resistance, well, it was all in vain.

To this man I gave my all,

In hopes that he might stay;

it all ended in a debacle,

as another woman made his attention stray away,

so its obvious I had to leave him anyway.

I grew up with time,

All these love flings, I felt, were lessons of life.

I was in search for stability when I stumbled upon a person,

who I felt would be, worth the while.

I was happy and felt wanted,

after years of yearning;

But I guess I should have known better,

after all the years of learning.

His confusion and instable mind,

unnerved me to no extent.

I knew I was a prize,

At the end’ I had to quit;

I couldn’t stay with someone,

unsure about me.

I had finally decided I won’t look back,

then a person came and tried to heal me.

Heaven knows he was shattered more than me,

yet he made me laugh and smile.

He reasoned with his tact,

I knew he wasn’t over his latter love;

As he tried to rescue me I could sense his broken heart,

He needed the healing more than I did.

Despite having read it all,

I fell for him without refrain;

I tried hard not to but he had me chained.

I was shackled in his snares but this time round,

I knew better than to share.

This was the POINT, where come what may;

I knew I won’t love someone who treated me as a second choice,

someone with whom my inner self I couldn’t bare.

The point at which I could tolerate the ignorance,

bear the pain of separation, miss my whole existence,

but bowing down to someone who didn’t care

was worse than the pain of the cold shoulders and angry glares.

It was the point when I wanted to be with someone,

not for the avarice but for the romance;

Someone who would love my actual soul and not the facades I wear on a daily roll,

Someone who had the balls to accept me and never be deceitful towards me on the whole.

It was the point whence I knew without err that if a man couldn’t handle me,

fair and square,

then he didn’t deserve me at all.

My tryst with myself would continue for a lifetime,

even if such a man did not come my way,

this I forswear.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

SERENITY & PEACE

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“A Tale of Growing Up and attaining Peace”

People say I have changed.

I haven’t;

I just grew up with the passage of time.

I refused to be used and pushed around.

I stopped reaching out to people who did not reach out to me.

I  ceased to trust people who I knew would betray me.

I started depending on myself and began to value what I had.

I freed myself from the snares of the past and came out wiser.

I realised I had showered rarely seen selfless love on the undeserving.

I accepted the reality of life with a calm and reignited the fire within me.

I found my soul in the process and with it true SERENITY & PEACE.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018