EGO & DISTANCE

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“A Tale of Distance playing the Devil again”

It was harsh for me to see them breaking down,

He wanted to pretend he was happy,

And she appeared to be smiling too.

I was stuck in the middle of this pretense,

Not knowing what to do?

 

She wanted me to talk to him,

Telling him that she wasn’t suitable for him;

He wanted me to distract him,

As hearing about her,

Pricked him to the core.

 

Their love had blossomed right in front of me,

It was a bitter blow to me,

Watching them drifting apart;

I watched upon helpless,

As my words were deemed useless and couldn’t play their part.

 

As I heard her voice over the call,

Her voice wavering at every word,

Trying to hold the emotions in.

He wanted to free her off the shackles,

Thinking she wanted this all along.

The promises of eternal love,

On the path shaping into matrimony,

Got lost somewhere as the journey came to a grievous ending.

 

She wanted to apologize,

But kept hunting for the words to do so,

He wanted to make amends

But he was tired of trying every time.

Each waited for the other to regret

And the feelings came to a distressing end.

 

I looked upon feeling powerless,

A mere spectator as two lovers were wrenched apart,

I saw them fading away;

As Ego became the Ditch again,

The Distance had played the Devil yet again.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

WE

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“A Tale of Eternally Bound Souls”

The time moved stealthily on the astral plane.

Our souls sat on the banks of a calm river listening to it’s constant flow.

I looked at you as you stared into the distance;

Trying to disentangle the chaos in your head.

Our life journeys have always been in synchronicity,

I could feel the intense turmoil of painful emotions your soul was undergoing;

I had been there before and could feel it surging inside me again through you.

 

I wanted to tell you that I was a reflection of you,

I wanted you to know,

The beauty you saw in me was a mirror to what lay in your depth,

Under the raging whirlwinds of despair;

But not a word did I utter.

 

I simply intertwined my hands with yours,

My fingers lacing through yours,

Filling the gaps in between them;

Staring into the distance with you,

Letting the silence speak for itself.

 

We are still living in that plane sitting on those very banks,

Knowing it will take time.

I will wait for you to heal  but those entwined hands in that quiet solitude,

Will be a reminder to you;

You won’t be alone,

As you heal your wounded self and make a steady progress.

 

The souls on that astral plane know,

There is no ME in this union,

It is either YOU or WE.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

KING & QUEEN

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“A Short Tale of a Bond between two Strong Individuals”

She is the Queen of Diplomacy,

An Alpha;

Who becomes a shy victim at times.

He is the King of Sarcasm,

A Dominator;

Who becomes a satanic ensnarement at times.

wolf

When she twists and  blurs talk;

He gives cut throat,

With an impressive candor.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

FINAL KEY

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“A Tale of the Last Key to a now locked up Heart”

It stabbed me like a thousand knives,

Worse than any pain I had felt before,

as without a reason you barged off.

You said that you did not want me to have anything for you or anyone as it would be good for me,

You didn’t need to,

I had decided long back you would be my heart’s last key.

I was screaming inside when you said goodbye,

I wanted you to stop and give an honest answer to my why;

All you said was it was something I wouldn’t understand,

So I bid adieu with a quiet bye.

No, my final words did not hold any anger,

They just held a sorrowful sigh,

I reconciled with my fate as you made me leave when I was right at your door.

The tears pricked my eyes and flowed freely as I collapsed on my knees,

But soon I got up and laughed bitterly,

as what I had predicted had finally come true.

I don’t hold any grudges and forgiveness is a trait I had learnt long ago,

but there is nothing to forgive here as I don’t believe either of us was at fault.

It was so abrupt that it left me dumbstruck,

Everything seemed normal and then it turned into a debacle.

It was the sudden isolation that brought the mind numbing pain,

You needn’t worry as it is nothing new;

People I get attached to keep leaving time and again.

But this time around there is something different,

The pain I feel seems alien,

It surpasses the limits of my severe bouts of depression,

yet suicidal thoughts I have not considered as an option.

I am at a phase where I cannot beg or plead anyone to stay,

it was one of the reasons why I didn’t push you for an explanation as you strayed away.

Grateful I am to you for making me feel and believe in eternal love again,

Thankful too for coming into my life and being there in the darkest hours,

and keeping me sane.

I don’t know what came over you,

I was left hanging in mid air in a cloud of confusion,

It was the last thing I expected from you.

I don’t blame you for anything,

Changing your path was your right;

The heartache is that you felt I wasted my time trying to figure you out,

when all I wanted was to discover the colors that you held abound.

I never felt you would break this bond,

You could have remained as a friend,

But without any inference you drove off;

Leaving me with a raging storm of emotions inside.

I know there must be a major cause,

So I backed off giving you your time and space;

Just that it still hurts to know,

That I wasn’t deemed worthy to understand what you were going through.

I can gauge the turmoil in your soul even from afar,

I can only hope time will heal all.

I know you care,

So don’t worry I will be fine,

Is all I can say in the end.

You are free to enter,

You are free to leave,

Still says the doorway of my life to my inspiration and my locked up heart’s

FINAL KEY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CORE

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“An Ode to the Iron woman of my Life: My Mother”

 She is tenacious and she is bold,

She is the CORE strength of my being.

She is freedom, she is care,

She is the woman who lets my wilderness, freely flow;

As she believes adventure is a way of finding your soul.

She is my backbone, she is my pillar,

She has been my crutch through my failures.

She is a teacher and sometimes a friend

yet both of us stay at loggerheads.

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The dynamics of our relationship are such,

Like a lion and a bull coming in touch.

We  remain calmly in each other’s domain,

but a slight ignition awakens the Alphas in us;

And makes all hell raise.

We both revel in nature,

We tend to loose ourselves in it.

Travel is how we find solace,

The only time when there are no tussels;

And we match each other’s pace.

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I never express much,

I have never been the kind.

It is in my anatomy I say;

As lesser display of affection,

is something from you that I have imbibed.

Our turbulent connection is one of a kind,

But that is exactly how we bind.

 I have changed over the years,

It took you long to realise;

And I know it still leaves you frustrated at times.

Till now you had been in search,

of the impression of your innocent child;

Which you were never able to find.

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I have countless flaws,

Never have I been the perfect child;

Still you have stood by me through it all.

Cold and callous I have been called,

Yet what I have put you through,

brings tears to my eyes;

I want to apologize for all my wrongs.

Mamma

Life has tested you time and again,

I had been watching it since chidhood;

but it was when the harsh realities of life made sense,

that the hurdles you faced, I understood.

I am a practical person as you very well know,

so I rarely say the phrase;

 I love and admire you,

For me you are a divine entity in play.

Wonderwoman, Superwoman, I have seen them all;

I can see their personification,

when my eyes, upon you, I lay.

I try to respect and love you through my actions,

yet my piercing words make everything go astray.

I know your heart is all embracing and forgiving,

yet I want to apologize for all the things said and done;

your blessings and never ending support for the road ahead is all I ask.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ENGRAVED

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“A Tale of Love and Longing under the Night Sky”

Lying on the terrace, staring at the night sky wearing a velvety blanket of stars;

I could sense you in its depth.

The serenity it gave me reminded me of the feeling of warmth you give me,

like a cheerful fire burning in the hearth on a dreary winter evening.

As the time lapsed I realised,

you  had mystically engraved and embellished yourself on not just my body but also my soul.

Suddenly the gentle summer breeze blew upon my skin,

it was akin to your arms cajoling me and lulled me to sleep.

By this juncture you were etched upon my mind and heart;

a warm presence even in the cold wilderness of the astral realm of my lucid dreams.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018