Game is Still Mine

“I can’t believe you are getting played by him and you are still in denial!”

“Who said I am getting played?,” I asked her with a glint in my eye, “Just because I WANT to get played voluntarily does not mean I am in denial.”

She was shocked. “So you knew all along? He still has her in his heart.”

“Obviously”, I said, “How long have you known me to think any different? The game is still mine. I merely enjoy the intensity I feel with him so I want him to stay and live with the pleasant memories of Vessa, that’s why the act. Else, I am back to being Vanessa and SHE is NOT his cup of tea.”

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa.©

February|2020

PRIMA DONNA

A Short Tale of a lost Starlet ‘Prima Donna’, revived on this festival of lights, (Diwali) .

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The lights shone a little brighter this year,

As her heart and soul felt a lot lighter on this festival of lights,

As the lights shimmered so did her soul.

The happiness apparent;

She shone in all her rarity,

Like the Prima Donna she once was,

One who was forgotten in the worldly chaos..

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2019

MASTERPIECE

A Tale of a Masterpiece that is Mystic and Arcane.  

There is a reason I call her a MASTERPIECE,

She is the Angel’s Melody and The Devil’s Knell,

The Creator’s Epiphany,

He was thoughtful of each part and crease. 

                   

Mystic and Veiled, she is one of a kind,

Broken a number of times,

She still spreads love with an aching heart,

To the flaws of the world she seems blind.

                 

Her love is a tide of mystical vibes,

Touching the soul and searing it through.

Lucky will be the man who owns her heart,

He will possess the glow her eternal passion provides.

               

Her detachment is equally vile,

When her soul is set ablaze,

Witness the intense fury in her burning eyes,

Her wrath will ravage you down.

                                   

She is the peace of nature, a provider of solace,

She is a heavenly hell, a demonic bait,

Numerous are the facades that she wears, 

She hides a persona, Mystifying and Arcane.

            

               

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

DIFFERENCE

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“A Tale of an Attack on a Woman’s Integrity that has made a huge Difference”

Because darling each time you ponder what went wrong,

My answer won’t change with the apologies that time brings along.

I have been hurt many a times before,

I am a fighter,

Something you knew from the beginning,

And said you understood to the very core.

To tell me I can’t handle a simple truth,

You had the audacity,

When it was you who was afraid to face it,

You should have thought twice over your choice of words.

You called me a queen,

But a queen is powerful and intuitive,

This you ought to have known.

Never afraid to walk away,

Always a rarity,

She can carve her own pathway.

Many statements have been spoken afore,

But those were mere attacks on my ego and vanity.

But sweetheart, yes, there was a variation,

Because yours was a brutal attack on my dignity

And the very strength of my integrity.

It created an abysmal gulf between my Forgiveness and Indifference.

And that, Dear Heart, has made all the DIFFERENCE.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

WHY

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“A Tale of finding the Answer to the Ever haunting Why”

 

I just want you to know,

I will always be here.

When you don’t want to share,

I won’t persist and I won’t chase,

Even if I want to delve deep into.

When you are busy, when its your time,

Your pain calling out, wanting to be alone,

Through those silences I will stay,

No, I am not one to stray,

Just know I am there,

A part of your soul somewhere.

Broken whenever you are,

We will piece it together,

The pieces that haunt you the most,

Is where we will start.

Even when you fail to say it,

I will understand,

I won’t stop your tears from falling,

I will let you vent it out,

As your pain echoes in me,

Burning me inside, searing my heart.

Nights and Days I have cried,

Thinking I don’t deserve you,

Not knowing how I always got pulled back to you ,

The confusion has now abated,

Stranded and alone I am no more,

WE is what we have been creating since time eternal,

this the soul made me realize,

So I am here till eternity,

I finally have the answer to my WHY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©| 2018

FLY

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“A Tale of A Woman answering those people who can’t bear to see her FLYING against Societal Norms”

I am not afraid to be the ugly duckling,

Being called different is what I find pleasing,

I don’t follow your societal norms,

So don’t judge me in accordance to your thoughts.

Don’t pass judgements on me,

Because I might look up to people,

For what they have gone through for me;

But you are not allowed to decree,

That I am a shadow to thee.

Shadows in relationships is what society decides,

I don’t follow those binds,

I am a personality that is unique on my own,

I don’t care what others think,

To each his own.

Don’t underestimate my achievements,

If I don’t show doesn’t mean I don’t know,

I can read your psyche well,

But till I don’t reach the levels I want to attain,

I will still keep my head calm and at an even pace.

Don’t think I am dying of neglect,

Please keep such thoughts to yourself,

Kids crave for the pampering and attention,

Heads turn  at a mature woman’s mere mention.

Just because I don’t fall in your circle,

Doesn’t mean I don’t have the ability to create a furore;

I am a raging storm kept under marvellous control inside,

Introverted I might be but you don’t want the tempest to reach outside,

It has the ability to destroy you if you collide.

You can call me ice cold or a burning fury,

It is a complex task to read me;

So refrain from stereotyping me.

Don’t blame me for sometimes letting it out,

I am not walking the path you pave,

I am in search for new horizons,

Don’t decide my acumen,

With your preconceived notions.

Don’t bring me on edge with your taunts,

Hurting people is not my goal;

It is not my clothes, behaviour or my past decisions

that define me all,

Showing me your shrewdness on that basis,

Proves your thought process shallow.

Don’t blame me for taking a stand,

I am not you,

And I am not scared of relaying this fact to you;

My perception and wisdom have a different take than yours,

Don’t try to fit them under your opinions and beliefs.

You haven’t been through the turmoil I have,

I keep everything under wraps,

There are a lot many things that have put me to test,

In the darker nights you weren’t present.

I don’t want to live in the past,

There are reasons I never look back,

I have changed a lot over the years,

You might not have noticed.

 I know who I am through and through,

That’s something you need to clearly know,

I am a Queen with her own choices;

I know the people who will stand by me are few,

That is the reason I keep my profile low.

I have escaped from the snares of the time gone by,

Don’t make me revisit it by bringing it up time and again.

I know how your mind is going to work,

So No this poem is not frustration being vented out,

It is not a tale of a rebel child who needs to mature;

This is just to make you understand that time has taken a toll,

I am not the girl you used to know,

I am a woman with dreams and goals,

A lady who knows her mettle,

And is not afraid to voice her opinions.

Now,

All I want in life is to soar high,

Because my wings were made to FLY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018