WHY

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“A Tale of finding the Answer to the Ever haunting Why”

 

I just want you to know,

I will always be here.

When you don’t want to share,

I won’t persist and I won’t chase,

Even if I want to delve deep into.

When you are busy, when its your time,

Your pain calling out, wanting to be alone,

Through those silences I will stay,

No, I am not one to stray,

Just know I am there,

A part of your soul somewhere.

Broken whenever you are,

We will piece it together,

The pieces that haunt you the most,

Is where we will start.

Even when you fail to say it,

I will understand,

I won’t stop your tears from falling,

I will let you vent it out,

As your pain echoes in me,

Burning me inside, searing my heart.

Nights and Days I have cried,

Thinking I don’t deserve you,

Not knowing how I always got pulled back to you ,

The confusion has now abated,

Stranded and alone I am no more,

WE is what we have been creating since time eternal,

this the soul made me realize,

So I am here till eternity,

I finally have the answer to my WHY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©| 2018

MONSOON YEARNINGS

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“A Tale of the Longing that arrives with the Monsoons”

The morning is dark yet refreshing.

The clouds thundering above me.

Sitting outside in the open I am thinking of you,

As the rain drops fall upon my skin;

I imagine you in them,

They sear my skin with a burning passion,

As they trickle down my body,

And serenade me.

 

The afternoon is cold,

There is silence everywhere,

Except for the soft pitter patter of raindrops.

I am on my bed listening to the sounds when,

There is a sudden urge to hold you.

Despite knowing you aren’t here,

I want to touch you.

The bedsheets crumple beneath my hands,

As I claw at them,

Calling out your name;

Disturbing the peace of the scene.

Those hidden desires resurface again,

The delirious moans and the whispers that follow,

With a mere imagination of your presence,

Titillate me to the core,

Driving me insane.

 

In the evening I feel spent and tired,

I sit outside again,

Staring at the mist settling upon the hills beyond.

They look so beautiful, I want to capture them,

Wishing I could share the landscape with you.

 

The night arrives bright and ethereal,

The moon shining upon me,

A velvety blanket of stars surrounding it.

It looks crystal clear yet hides the night’s enigma underneath..

I remember your love for the nights and smile,

As I realized I have fallen for you and it has been a while.

 

Memories come rushing through and I am reminded of the time with you,

The sky still remains the only constant that we share,

As another day of the Monsoons passes,

With me yearning for you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

ETERNITY

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“A Short Tale of a Lifetime of Romance”

 

When I am with him,

I don’t want him to look at another woman longingly,

Wishing it had worked out with her.

 

Instead I want to be the woman,

He can look right into the eye,

And thank his stars that it never worked out with others.

I want to be the woman,

Who is recognized by his heart and soul,

As the one;

Who has loved him Eternally,

And will stand by him through Eternity.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

TERRITORY

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“The Tale of the Submission of an Alpha”

No, she was not waiting for a knight in shining armor,

Neither was she on a lookout for a Prince Charming;

Nor did she want the moons and stars.

All she craved for was a real man who could dare to date a strong, independent woman,

Someone who had the mettle to tolerate her stubborness,

A man bold enough to correct her if she was wrong;

She wanted a man who was proud to call her his own,

A man who accepted her for who she was.

An Alpha as she was,

Fierce, Stable and Wild;

She never expected to find such a guy.

But she got a lot more when he arrived on the scene,

A man who questioned her dominance at every stage.

She never feared the fire as she was one herself,

But with him everything was different.

Her confidence wavered for the very first time,

It still does whenever she is around him.

She became a nervous wreck,

And The butterflies he gave her;

Made even her words lose track.

He was a man who loved all shades of her,

And her darker shades intrigued him even more.

She clearly acknowledged his dominance,

And understood her defiance was in vain.

But the hostile Alpha inside,

Refused to be tamed,

It kept testing her mate;

Trying to hurt him every few miles,

Just to make her submission seem Worthwhile.

When he refused to budge,

Even the Alpha got hooked,

The fact that got her addicted to him;

He knew how lethal she was,

Yet had the audacity to mark her as his TERRITORY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

 

MILES

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“A Tale of a Bond which is Boundless”

IĀ  am the first rays of the sun as they touch you in the morning,

I am the cool breeze that provides you solace,

Under the scorching afternoon sun.

I am in the trees that provide you shade,

I am also the whistling wind that passes through them,

Calming your nerves when you are in unrest.

I am the raindrops falling from the sky,

Which soothe your distressed spirit.

I am the waves of the oceans and the seas,

When you stand and they come lapping at your feet,

I am the sound of the gushing currents,

Which you hear while traversing them.

Ā I am the sweat on your brow,

As you strive towards a steady growth;

I am the blood that seeps out from the injuries you incur,

on the path of progression.

I am the evenings that cool you down,

after a hard day’s work;

I am the moon that looks upon you night after night,

Watching you bear the pain inside,

As you advance in life.

I am the tears that fall from your eyes,

When you feel lost.

I am the shadow that always remains with you,

Even when you are treading in solitude.

I am the soul that pulsates inside you,

A reminder that even with the MILES between us,

You are not on this journey alone.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

EGO & DISTANCE

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“A Tale of Distance playing the Devil again”

It was harsh for me to see them breaking down,

He wanted to pretend he was happy,

And she appeared to be smiling too.

I was stuck in the middle of this pretense,

Not knowing what to do?

 

She wanted me to talk to him,

Telling him that she wasn’t suitable for him;

He wanted me to distract him,

As hearing about her,

Pricked him to the core.

 

Their love had blossomed right in front of me,

It was a bitter blow to me,

Watching them drifting apart;

I watched upon helpless,

As my words were deemed useless and couldn’t play their part.

 

As I heard her voice over the call,

Her voice wavering at every word,

Trying to hold the emotions in.

He wanted to free her off the shackles,

Thinking she wanted this all along.

The promises of eternal love,

On the path shaping into matrimony,

Got lost somewhere as the journey came to a grievous ending.

 

She wanted to apologize,

But kept hunting for the words to do so,

He wanted to make amends

But he was tired of trying every time.

Each waited for the other to regret

And the feelings came to a distressing end.

 

I looked upon feeling powerless,

A mere spectator as two lovers were wrenched apart,

I saw them fading away;

As Ego became the Ditch again,

The Distance had played the Devil yet again.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

 

 

 

WE

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“A Tale of Eternally Bound Souls”

The time moved stealthily on the astral plane.

Our souls sat on the banks of a calm river listening to it’s constant flow.

I looked at you as you stared into the distance;

Trying to disentangle the chaos in your head.

Our life journeys have always been in synchronicity,

I could feel the intense turmoil of painful emotions your soul was undergoing;

I had been there before and could feel it surging inside me again through you.

 

I wanted to tell you that I was a reflection of you,

I wanted you to know,

The beauty you saw in me was a mirror to what lay in your depth,

Under the raging whirlwinds of despair;

But not a word did I utter.

 

I simply intertwined my hands with yours,

My fingers lacing through yours,

Filling the gaps in between them;

Staring into the distance with you,

Letting the silence speak for itself.

 

We are still living in that plane sitting on those very banks,

Knowing it will take time.

I will wait for you to healĀ  but those entwined hands in that quiet solitude,

Will be a reminder to you;

You won’t be alone,

As you heal your wounded self and make a steady progress.

 

The souls on that astral plane know,

There is no ME in this union,

It is either YOU or WE.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

 

 

TSAR

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“A short Tale about the Ruler of the Mind, Heart, Body & Soul”

The Fury of the tempest reminds me,

of the Raging Storm inside me;

The one causing the Turmoil,

is oblivious to it.

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He is the TSAR,

of my Mind, Heart, Body and Soul;

The longing for him is,

what the Romanians call DOR.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

FINAL KEY

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“A Tale of the Last Key to a now locked up Heart”

It stabbed me like a thousand knives,

Worse than any pain I had felt before,

as without a reason you barged off.

You said that you did not want me to have anything for you or anyone as it would be good for me,

You didn’t need to,

I had decided long back you would be my heart’s last key.

I was screaming inside when you said goodbye,

I wanted you to stop and give an honest answer to my why;

All you said was it was something I wouldn’t understand,

So I bid adieu with a quiet bye.

No, my final words did not hold any anger,

They just held a sorrowful sigh,

I reconciled with my fate as you made me leave when I was right at your door.

The tears pricked my eyes and flowed freely as I collapsed on my knees,

But soon I got up and laughed bitterly,

as what I had predicted had finally come true.

I don’t hold any grudges and forgiveness is a trait I had learnt long ago,

but there is nothing to forgive here as I don’t believe either of us was at fault.

It was so abrupt that it left me dumbstruck,

Everything seemed normal and then it turned into a debacle.

It was the sudden isolation that brought the mind numbing pain,

You needn’t worry as it is nothing new;

People I get attached to keep leaving time and again.

But this time around there is something different,

The pain I feel seems alien,

It surpasses the limits of my severe bouts of depression,

yet suicidal thoughts I have not considered as an option.

I am at a phase where I cannot beg or plead anyone to stay,

it was one of the reasons why I didn’t push you for an explanation as you strayed away.

Grateful I am to you for making me feel and believe in eternal love again,

Thankful too for coming into my life and being there in the darkest hours,

and keeping me sane.

I don’t know what came over you,

I was left hanging in mid air in a cloud of confusion,

It was the last thing I expected from you.

I don’t blame you for anything,

Changing your path was your right;

The heartache is that you felt I wasted my time trying to figure you out,

when all I wanted was to discover the colors that you held abound.

I never felt you would break this bond,

You could have remained as a friend,

But without any inference you drove off;

Leaving me with a raging storm of emotions inside.

I know there must be a major cause,

So I backed off giving you your time and space;

Just that it still hurts to know,

That I wasn’t deemed worthy to understand what you were going through.

I can gauge the turmoil in your soul even from afar,

I can only hope time will heal all.

I know you care,

So don’t worry I will be fine,

Is all I can say in the end.

You are free to enter,

You are free to leave,

Still says the doorway of my life to my inspiration and my locked up heart’s

FINAL KEY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SATANIC BAIT

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“A Tale of the instances that made HER fall for her SATANIC BAIT”

He was captivating and alluring.

He had her bewitched by his mere presence.

His chivalry and ability to behave feral and untamed when required, made him irresistible.

He was a deadly combination of a bad boy who was also a good man.

He crawled into her mind and soul everyday using his imagination to touch her skin and mark her as his territory, with a passion none could envisage.

The nights were enthralling and the days left her yearning for more.

He was akin to a SATANIC BAIT, luring her into forgetting all rationale.

Her passion for him mounted with each passing moment as he pushed her into the depths of the obscure chasm of her own ardent desires.

He was neither an obsession nor an addiction yet he was intoxicating.

His bewitching charm exposed her carnal desires and he reveled in it.

She had the premonition that resistance was futile.

Soon she had the cognizance of succumbing to the innate thirst and the deep rooted yearning.

The intensity of the insatiable passion that he had built up hit her like the fiery breath of a dragon, consuming the body and soul.

He was like a drug to her.

He made her experience a euphoric high everyday.

She delved into the deepest and darkest desires of the night with him.

He was like an ocean of contradictions and she lost herself in its abyss.

He was akin to the enticement of the devil especially sent to ensnare her.

As she scrolled through his photographs one day she realised she was falling for him.

He touched her in a manner nobody else could delving in right to her core.

Her friend’s words echoed in her ears “He’s got real guts and balls”, she remembered blushing a tiny bit at that but not enough to relate the story.

There was a glow about her as she had smiled, the one she had lost in the past months.

It was a reminder of all that he was and always had been.

 

She started waiting for him,

He became a constant presence on her mind.

He started to wanderĀ  her dreamland too.

The moments with him were the ones when she felt desired and appreciated.

She reached the epoch where she got the sensation of a safe haven.

It was the juncture where her heart knew that even the ‘savage’ inside her was done for.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2018