GREY

A Tale of a Woman stuck in the Grey Zones

With the beginning of a New Year,

Her Soul that was Withered and Shattered,

Went through a major transformation,

It was the long awaited moments of Spiritual Awakening,

As her Earth Realities changed,

She embraced her true persona and flew unfettered.

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She realised she was never an extreme,

Neither the Epitome of Good,

Nor a Paragon of Evil,

She was a Paradox,

Benign yet Impassive.

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She was never a Friend to be called upon for Benefits,

But then she was also not the Commitment that one called a Relationship,

She was a Strings Attached,

Never given a Closure,

Used in accordance to Whims and Fancies,

An Obscure and Cavernous bond of a Situationship.

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Somewhere down the lane of the year begone,

She lost her Passion for a Romance Eternal.

She wasn’t the one you’d want,

If you wanted an everlasting ardor,

She was one holding on to the last vestiges of humanity to feel Alive,

So all she can provide is Love Universal.

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She wasn’t the Fury nor was she the Calm,

Despite the Pandemonium within her heart and mind,

She seemed at Peace with her Inner Self ,

This impressed upon the watching eye,

And she appeared to them as Divine and Ethereal.

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However, at the end of it all,

The realization hit her long and hard,

The cognizance that she was neither the Black nor the White,

She was just somewhere betwixt,

A Perfect Meld of all the shades GREY;

She was Devoid of Sadness,

But No; There was no Happiness,

Just a Soulful Numbness.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©| 2019

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MASTERPIECE

A Tale of a Masterpiece that is Mystic and Arcane.  

There is a reason I call her a MASTERPIECE,

She is the Angel’s Melody and The Devil’s Knell,

The Creator’s Epiphany,

He was thoughtful of each part and crease. 

                   

Mystic and Veiled, she is one of a kind,

Broken a number of times,

She still spreads love with an aching heart,

To the flaws of the world she seems blind.

                 

Her love is a tide of mystical vibes,

Touching the soul and searing it through.

Lucky will be the man who owns her heart,

He will possess the glow her eternal passion provides.

               

Her detachment is equally vile,

When her soul is set ablaze,

Witness the intense fury in her burning eyes,

Her wrath will ravage you down.

                                   

She is the peace of nature, a provider of solace,

She is a heavenly hell, a demonic bait,

Numerous are the facades that she wears, 

She hides a persona, Mystifying and Arcane.

            

               

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

DIFFERENCE

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“A Tale of an Attack on a Woman’s Integrity that has made a huge Difference”

Because darling each time you ponder what went wrong,

My answer won’t change with the apologies that time brings along.

I have been hurt many a times before,

I am a fighter,

Something you knew from the beginning,

And said you understood to the very core.

To tell me I can’t handle a simple truth,

You had the audacity,

When it was you who was afraid to face it,

You should have thought twice over your choice of words.

You called me a queen,

But a queen is powerful and intuitive,

This you ought to have known.

Never afraid to walk away,

Always a rarity,

She can carve her own pathway.

Many statements have been spoken afore,

But those were mere attacks on my ego and vanity.

But sweetheart, yes, there was a variation,

Because yours was a brutal attack on my dignity

And the very strength of my integrity.

It created an abysmal gulf between my Forgiveness and Indifference.

And that, Dear Heart, has made all the DIFFERENCE.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

FLY

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“A Tale of A Woman answering those people who can’t bear to see her FLYING against Societal Norms”

I am not afraid to be the ugly duckling,

Being called different is what I find pleasing,

I don’t follow your societal norms,

So don’t judge me in accordance to your thoughts.

Don’t pass judgements on me,

Because I might look up to people,

For what they have gone through for me;

But you are not allowed to decree,

That I am a shadow to thee.

Shadows in relationships is what society decides,

I don’t follow those binds,

I am a personality that is unique on my own,

I don’t care what others think,

To each his own.

Don’t underestimate my achievements,

If I don’t show doesn’t mean I don’t know,

I can read your psyche well,

But till I don’t reach the levels I want to attain,

I will still keep my head calm and at an even pace.

Don’t think I am dying of neglect,

Please keep such thoughts to yourself,

Kids crave for the pampering and attention,

Heads turn  at a mature woman’s mere mention.

Just because I don’t fall in your circle,

Doesn’t mean I don’t have the ability to create a furore;

I am a raging storm kept under marvellous control inside,

Introverted I might be but you don’t want the tempest to reach outside,

It has the ability to destroy you if you collide.

You can call me ice cold or a burning fury,

It is a complex task to read me;

So refrain from stereotyping me.

Don’t blame me for sometimes letting it out,

I am not walking the path you pave,

I am in search for new horizons,

Don’t decide my acumen,

With your preconceived notions.

Don’t bring me on edge with your taunts,

Hurting people is not my goal;

It is not my clothes, behaviour or my past decisions

that define me all,

Showing me your shrewdness on that basis,

Proves your thought process shallow.

Don’t blame me for taking a stand,

I am not you,

And I am not scared of relaying this fact to you;

My perception and wisdom have a different take than yours,

Don’t try to fit them under your opinions and beliefs.

You haven’t been through the turmoil I have,

I keep everything under wraps,

There are a lot many things that have put me to test,

In the darker nights you weren’t present.

I don’t want to live in the past,

There are reasons I never look back,

I have changed a lot over the years,

You might not have noticed.

 I know who I am through and through,

That’s something you need to clearly know,

I am a Queen with her own choices;

I know the people who will stand by me are few,

That is the reason I keep my profile low.

I have escaped from the snares of the time gone by,

Don’t make me revisit it by bringing it up time and again.

I know how your mind is going to work,

So No this poem is not frustration being vented out,

It is not a tale of a rebel child who needs to mature;

This is just to make you understand that time has taken a toll,

I am not the girl you used to know,

I am a woman with dreams and goals,

A lady who knows her mettle,

And is not afraid to voice her opinions.

Now,

All I want in life is to soar high,

Because my wings were made to FLY.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

HUES

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“A Tale of the Contrasting Shades of a Woman”

She was not born a warrior,

She has been forged into one.

She wears her scars proudly.

She belongs to nobody but her freedom,

And she loves the ones she cares for more than her freedom.

She is a free soul.

Her past has strengthened her.

She is forbearing and forgiving.

She is perceptive as well as sensitive.

She is brutal withal ruthless.

She cares the most, expects the least and braces herself for the worst.

She won’t ever quit on you.

She can  heal and mend you but

Beware!!

She has an Angelic Divinity about her that hides the Satan underneath.

She holds the powers of infernal destruction,

Which can convert,

Even shattered smithereens to Ashes and blow them into Oblivion.

So, Don’t compel her to reveal her darker shades.

Love her if she is kind to you,

but Fear her,

if you have forced out the darkness in her.

Her contrasting HUES;

Are an Essence that can make you,

but if pushed too far,

Are Deadly enough to break you.

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

CORE

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“An Ode to the Iron woman of my Life: My Mother”

 She is tenacious and she is bold,

She is the CORE strength of my being.

She is freedom, she is care,

She is the woman who lets my wilderness, freely flow;

As she believes adventure is a way of finding your soul.

She is my backbone, she is my pillar,

She has been my crutch through my failures.

She is a teacher and sometimes a friend

yet both of us stay at loggerheads.

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The dynamics of our relationship are such,

Like a lion and a bull coming in touch.

We  remain calmly in each other’s domain,

but a slight ignition awakens the Alphas in us;

And makes all hell raise.

We both revel in nature,

We tend to loose ourselves in it.

Travel is how we find solace,

The only time when there are no tussels;

And we match each other’s pace.

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I never express much,

I have never been the kind.

It is in my anatomy I say;

As lesser display of affection,

is something from you that I have imbibed.

Our turbulent connection is one of a kind,

But that is exactly how we bind.

 I have changed over the years,

It took you long to realise;

And I know it still leaves you frustrated at times.

Till now you had been in search,

of the impression of your innocent child;

Which you were never able to find.

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I have countless flaws,

Never have I been the perfect child;

Still you have stood by me through it all.

Cold and callous I have been called,

Yet what I have put you through,

brings tears to my eyes;

I want to apologize for all my wrongs.

Mamma

Life has tested you time and again,

I had been watching it since chidhood;

but it was when the harsh realities of life made sense,

that the hurdles you faced, I understood.

I am a practical person as you very well know,

so I rarely say the phrase;

 I love and admire you,

For me you are a divine entity in play.

Wonderwoman, Superwoman, I have seen them all;

I can see their personification,

when my eyes, upon you, I lay.

I try to respect and love you through my actions,

yet my piercing words make everything go astray.

I know your heart is all embracing and forgiving,

yet I want to apologize for all the things said and done;

your blessings and never ending support for the road ahead is all I ask.

 

 

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALPHA

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“The Tale of an Alpha Queen”

Alone she stands, unwavering and tall,

Fierce to the bone and savage to the core.

Different from the rest, she is one of a kind,

She won’t make amends if she is right;

undoubtedly a rare find.

She is well versed in consoling herself,

She has learnt to wipe her own tears,

She has taught herself to be her own support,

She wears new facades everyday,

So don’t mistake yourself, you can’t read her changing personas each day.

She is the ALPHA of her own life.

She has no penchant for your shenanigans and

Anger in her patient self is what irrelevant histrionics ignite.

A lone wolf by sight and a queen by right,

She is the centurion of the arena you are playing at

Believe it when I say you can’t gauge her might.

 

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2018