WAIT

The tale of her never ending wait.

It’s funny how each time she is at her gate,

Her eyes flicker towards the corner towards her house,

Like you would round the corner any moment,

The way you had promised years back,

This is the story of her WAIT.

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At times she just shakes her head,

Knowing the remote possibility of it ever happening,

She often laughs at her own anticipation,

The dashed hopes and the futility of the waiting,

At times she wonders why she even waits.

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Still every morning, every night,

Anytime she stands at her gate,

Her eyes still rove at the corner,

Constantly awaiting your arrival,

She imagines herself blushing when she would see you at her place,

Each time you don’t appear, she bows her head and goes inside,

Only to resume the wait again.

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And this cycle continues forever,

Each day, every day, it never ends,

The corner has started corroding still you haven’t arrived,

With forlorn eyes that blur at times,

She still looks towards it,

This is how she waits.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s Urge Ā©|2020

My Paws

A Dedication post for my six pairs of paws that have been my constant companions. She probably thinks I am strangling her in this picture. Haha!

During a particularly rough monsoon season,

Eleven years ago,

A tiny being lay outside my house,

She was injured and she was in pain,

As the rains poured hard that night,

She looked at me with her beady eyes,

I brought a blanket outside,

Wrapped her up and brought her inside,

Nobody came to claim her for very long,

She became a part of our family,

She was small and she was frail, we called her Tinki which means tiny,

Eleven years down , she still hasn’t grown much, delicate as a butterfly,

My constant companion, her paw in mine,

All I have had in the worst of times.

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Six years ago I heard about a litter of puppies,

I went to have a look at them,

A small little head popped out and looked at me,

His owner dangled him in front of me, wanting to get rid of him,

I took an immediate liking to this overly active being,

Took him home to give Tinki a companion,

Called him Rocky as that was the movie playing at the time,

Years down the lane, he is as active as he was as a pup,

No wall is too high and no gate can stop him,

When I am sad he rolls his head in my lap,

And all my worries and stress fly away.

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Five years ago my uncle called me to his home,

I went and was surprised to see a big, fat pup wrapped in a towel,

He said she was two months old,

It was quite unbelievable considering her size,

She was a gift to my uncle who couldn’t care for her,

So she was gifted to me and I brought her home happily.

Wrapped her in the same blanket in which I had brought Tinki in,

Named her Lica, the first dog in space since she looked so unique,

Five years down she is a giant beauty,

Possessive and protective of everyone in the family,

Last year before my birthday she became a mother,

Gave me the most beautiful gifts in the form of six pups,

Whenever I feel low, she comes and sits with me,

Nuzzles my face and my tears dry quickly.

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I call them my paws,

More loyal than most humans,

They Shower me with the purest form of unconditional love,

To all those who say I have kept them unnecessarily, I pay no heed,

Because their love and silent companionship has kept me alive,

They have helped me pass the darkest phases of life,

Their love is unadulterated to the very core,

It nurtures me as well as my soul,

They are all god’s gifts,

They are all I could ever need.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa)

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

Excerpt: Preordained

A quote from the beginning of my book.

“Because there was nobody like you, there is nobody like you. Nights I have spent thinking I don’t deserve you but as time passes our souls come meandering through. Love for you was preordained, destiny never gave me a choice when it came to you.”
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Vanessa, the protagonist of my story is an inherent part of me. After all she is partly inspired from me. You We is her story, a paradox of sorts, a Manizer as well as a hopeless romantic who is immensely in love with her hometown Dehradun and has refused to leave it despite the opportunities. Many do lust after her but will this woman find true, eternal love is the question?
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I had always been an avid reader and I have so many books that at times I wonder if I should open a library. Infact, I sell books each year just to make space for more. As a child I grew up on Ruskin Bond and Enid Blyton. Each time I visited Landour (Bond’s abode), I often wondered how it would feel to stay there and write. I always imagined myself sitting on one of the benches in the lap of nature and write my first book. That had always been my dream.
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Unfortunately, the experience of writing my first book was quite an unbelievable one. My mid life crisis was a global pandemic but yes, fortunately it gave me time to follow my passion and my parents supported me so I did. After all ever since I started writing my blog (link in bio) they wanted me to be a published author. And I love them for that! Also, funnily enough, I am an ardent reader of Classics and I pride in my classic collections but I ended up writing a youthful romance in the most simplistic language (probably for the younger generation of millenials and the 21st century kids) Haha! It took even me by surprise as it is quite different from the poetry I write.
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I just hope people read it and like it. And to all who read it do leave your reviews!

INTERNATIONAL PRINT BOOKS:
Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1648506267
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1648506267

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Now available across all platforms.
PRINT BOOKS INDIA:
Amazon.in: https://www.amazon.in/dp/1648506267
Flipkart: https://www.flipkart.com/you-we/p/itm0a37e53729ab5?pid=9781648506260

For all the E-BOOK READERS out there:
Amazon Kindle: https://www.amazon.in/You-We-Coincidental-Vanya-Rajwar-ebook/dp/B08BKJ3RM7
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/in/en/ebook/you-we
Google Playstore: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Vanya_Rajwar_You_We?id=12jsDwAAQBAJ
Apple books: https://books.apple.com/us/book/id1523141870

I hope people read it. And if you like it do leave a review!

Also I would love to interact with people who visit my blog and know more about you. I might be SOCIALLY ERRATIC but I love to converse. Haha! I am trying to be more interactive on a daily basis now. So, Do comment, mail or text me!

I am not Her

A Tale of the girl who once lived and loved selflessly

There was a girl who once lived,

She loved more than she could,

Gave more than many deserved,

Selfless was her soul, it existed to serve,

I am not her.

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She brought smiles to faces,

In the dead of the night, her muffled cries went unheard,

She filled others with happiness,

While piece by piece she shattered,

I am not her.

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Often taken for granted,

Still altruistically she served,

Putting the welfare of others before herself,

To her own pain she paid no heed,

I am not her.

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Neglected by the ones she loved,

She waited ages for them to understand her worth,

With a delicate heart and strong mind,

She still stayed by them through all storms,

I am not her.

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She still resides within me,

Exhausted by having loved so selflessly,

She has churned me into what I am today,

I love and give others,

But I don’t forget to love myself for the same,

She has done her part of spreading love well,

Now she needs her rest.

The woman that I am today,

She is not that epitome of unselfish love and benevolence,

I walk away when my efforts are not respected,

Some might find it inconsiderate,

I apologize for the same,

But I refuse to be her,

I need to love myself too,

I am not her.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

Note: I got mails from quite a number of my followers as to what had happened to the surprise related to the book. I was supposed to share it yesterday but something went haywire. I promise I will be introducing it very soon. Please do stay tuned!! Thankyou so much for the support!

He & She: An Eternal Story (9)

Life is a Series of Maybes but for now its Goodbye

“So this is finally goodbye,” he asked, his voice wavering as he looked at her.

“Yes, yes, it is,” she said, with a steely gaze.

“Do you think?” he asked, “We might meet again.”

Her eyes softened for a while as she sighed. “Life is a series of maybes. Someday, in some other place, maybe, our souls might get entangled again.”

“Maybe,” he said, “But I am sorry again, if only you could give me…”

“Some apologies are futile,” she said cutting him, her voice cold, “I have forgiven you but sometimes the damage is irrevocable. Maybe, we will meet again in the midst of our stories; maybe, when your soul is wiser, maybe a day when you’d understand the extent of devastation your words and actions actually caused, but till then it’s goodbye.”

With that, she turned around and left him standing all alone, the way he had left her stranded when she had needed him the most. She deserted him on the path they had decided to walk on till eternity to pave one for herself. As he saw her receding figure, he realized he had taken her love for granted for way too long. He had tired her beautiful soul; left it so cold that the woman who could never stay away from him didn’t turn back even once as she walked away.

Little did he know, she didn’t turn because there were tears flowing from her eyes; the dam had finally broken. She had used the final ounce of her strength to walk away from him. She had waited for very long, waiting to be acknowledged, wanting to be loved, and now when he finally did, it felt meaningless to her. Simply because he had prioritized someone else when she had needed him the most.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

Liebster and Ideal Inspiration Blogger Awards

So I finally got time to create and write this lengthy ‘Blog award’ post. I participate very rarely (the posts are too lengthy, I am lazy and erratic as well as highly irregular) but I love Hannah’s blog and I am really thankful to her for nominating me for the same. So, here goes.

First and foremost, I would like to thank Hannah Gandhi for nominating me for these awards. Hannah has a beautiful art blog and I absolutely adore her pop art and doodles. I was glad that I actually came by her blog as she gives really insightful tips and tricks related to the various art forms and it has helped me out a lot while I decided to pursue sketching as a hobby, very recently. You should definitely click on the link above and give her blog a visit. Also she is always supportive of me, and I love her for that.

So, here are my answers to Hannah’s questions.

  1. What inspired me to write a blog? I had been ghostwriting stories and writing content for a good three years till 2018. In 2018, a special someone entered my life. I mean, sex and all is cool but do you ever get someone who writes lines for you? That is exactly what he did and despite never having written romantic poems or prose all my life, I took up the pen and decided to pen my own thoughts down. Also, I realised if I can write stories for others I can pursue the same for my own pleasure. So I created my blog to write the furor of emotions an ethereal kind of love brings, one that doesn’t seem to end. Unfortunately, that special guy and I aren’t together anymore but people say, we both are a story worth reading about! Haha! Though as time passed I have transferred my musings to my own self and observations but yes you can say he was and still is my muse even though I am not anymore.
  2. What are your favourite hobbies/ pastimes? My favourite hobbies would include reading novels, solitary wanderings, photography, sketching, baking (in lockdown), talking to imagined characters (it’s a well kept secret ;P) and definitely dancing (I am a trained Kathak dancer having weaved my way from Praveshika (25 ghungroos on each leg) to Prabhakar (150 ghungroos on each leg) Haha! Took me 6 years! [Again a secret that I am now sharing].
  3. State your favourite quote OR is there a book that changed your life? If so in what way? Well yes, I do have a favourite quote. “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.ā€ (Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City). I have always been one for butterflies, I don’t want a merely comfortable and mundane existence. You can call me a hopeless and eternal romantic. There is no OR. I have a favourite book and the reigning champ is always The Alchemist. I never leave anywhere without it. I am an ambivert and prefer to be by myself when I am low. That book has pulled me out of the worst situations in life, made me believe in myself and my dreams alike.
  4. If you could choose one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be? One kind of food??? AAhhhh! That is going to be hard for a foodie like me. I keep munching nearly all the time but maybe chocolates, dark chocolates with adequate amount of sugars. Since, I am very vulnerable to mood swings they have always been my best bet. They keep me lively and going though they are usually accompanied with a cup of hazelnut coffee, yes! They definitely are my go to food near well everyday.
  5. What is your definition of success? Success for me simply means doing well in your life path. For me, earnings and positions have never been a path for defining success. Peace of mind and doing what you are passionate about and also developing a personality where you can empathize with others is what I conclude success to be. Being loved and respected for who you are as a person means more to me than for the position I hold or the money I splurge.
  6. What is your biggest fear? I am scared of the dark, not the nights, mind it. I love starry, velvety nights when the moon shines. I hate dark places, I love mystery but dark instills an unknown fear within me. Maybe it is because the dark knows a side to me that others don’t. I am known for being bold and sorted but the dark brings out even the most suppressed fears, be it of failure or lost love or otherwise. I have started taking it in a positive wake though. Hope has never been what keeps me alive and going, it is fear and my constant desire to win over it.
  7. What have you learned in this pandemic? You can live a pretty comfortable lifestyle without spending a lot. I realised what a materialistic and fast paced world we live in. When I got time I started cooking and baking, I had the cognizance that I spent less than half the amount and was still able to relish the delicacies (healthier versions too) that I would have ordered otherwise. Also I turned to nature and as I stopped receiving my deliveries of beauty and cleansing products I introduced aloevera, gram flour, lemon, milk and turmeric to my routine. Ah well! I really did see good results with these free to wayyyy cheaper alternatives and I was reminded of my grandmother who always swears by natural products and still has shiny clean skin and during the pandemic I understood why. Haha! Besides that I found solace in nature and family, you don’t need to travel far and wide to gain that inner peace. Coming from a small valley where you still find lawns, trees and kitchen gardens in bungalows, I found that roving that small lawn, working in the backgarden or just the evening walks on the roof or the terrace talking to my loved ones or playing with my babies (my 3 dogs) made me sort my disentangled thoughts and provided a serene calm to my ever wandering soul.
  8. If you won the lottery, what would you spend that money on? (Imagine that you have already won) I don’t have huge dreams. I want a small cottage in the hills with a wall library to stack my books, a warm fireplace and a cozy corner for my dogs. I will reside and write from there. I am a good samaritan so I will probably keep a little aside for old age and then donate the rest for the goodwill of animals as well as humans. I have a soft corner for animals; at times they are more humane than humans.
  9. What places are on your travel bucketlist to see? I am a Himalayan girl and during the pandemic I read about the Himalayan terrains a lot and even though I visit the hills every few years, I have decided to traverse the treacherous terrains and the lesser known areas of the Himalayan region and after the pandemic I have decided to keep my travels limited to the domestic regions for an year or two. I want to visit Austria again though and Japan too. I like the quieter areas everywhere, my soul seems to seek solitude wherever it goes.
  10. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? In my imagination, it’s a certainly creative space to be in. Haha! There are characters who control the universe to animals to enormous snakes that can destroy half the universe. Go figure!

So here are few of the Blogs that I love visiting and reading. It is your choice if you want to participate or not and again I apologise if you have already been nominated for the very same. Also, please don’t mind if I miss you out!! The nominations are 11 for Liebster award and 9 for Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award, so I am taking a midway out and nominating 15 bloggers for the same.

  1. preetpi- I think for all
  2. Navneet Kumar- The Horizon
  3. Nancy Nelson- lifestyle blogs
  4. Bon Repos Gites- Bonjour From Brittany
  5. deeply shreded- D_VYANG_TALKS
  6. Eddie two hawks
  7. Milford Street
  8. Shweta Suresh- My Random Ramblings
  9. Antalgica Poetica
  10. Rejoy Dey- Teenage
  11. the50yearoldpoet- Scribblers Arena
  12. Nabeel- Mind Talks
  13. truthisacommodity- What Now News 24
  14. WORDKET
  15. Tisha- Brainy Essays

So, the questions are supposed to be 11 for the Liebster award and 5 for the Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award. I am taking a midway here too and will be asking only seven questions. Here they are:

  1. What inspired you to start writing?
  2. What would be the theme song of your life?
  3. What has been some funny advice that someone has given you?
  4. If you were a drink, what would you be and why?
  5. Which TV sitcom would you star in?
  6. What talents do you possess that not a lot of people know about?
  7. Since its 2020, you can expect the unexpected! So, what if there is a zombie apocalypse tomorrow, what is the first thing you would do?
  1. First and foremost, thank the blogger who has nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Answer the questions of the blogger.
  3. Nominate bloggers for the award. 11 for the Liebster award and 9 for the Ideal Inspiration Award; I have taken a midway and nominated 15 for the same. The nominated can participate in both or just one or not participate at all, it’s their wish
  4. Ask your own questions to the nominated bloggers, 11 for the Liebster award and 5 for the Ideal Inspiration award, here again I took a midway as I did a 2 in 1 blog award and asked 7 questions.
  5. Provide a link to the blog post to all the nominated bloggers on their sites to let them know about their nomination.
  6. List the rules and the picture of the blog award.

Vanya Rajwar. 2020.

The Soul’s Urge.

He & She: An Eternal Story (3)

Distance fails to deter true love’s flight

She whispered to the breeze last night,

He conversed with the moon that night,

And as she danced under the moonlight,

The breeze touched him and he smiled with delight,

The distance failed to deter their love, one more night.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

ENIGMA

A Short Tale of a Mysterious Woman

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Numerous are her shades. She is an enigma that takes ages to unfold. You have to be patient to learn all that she withholds because once she unleashes her various hues, you will be left yearning for more and more.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa.

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020

GOVERNMENT JOBS

A Sarcastic and Hilarious take on India’s obsession with Government Jobs

I had been wanting to speak since ages,

You know about this,

Particular obsession with Government Jobs.

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In India, whatever or however you do it,

You should certainly apply for what?

A Government Job.

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Do you like Banking?

Nobody really asks.

You want a career in railways?

Again nobody asks.

Do you want to become a professor?

Nada, that’s again never asked.

Do you want to go into government administration?

AGAIN Nobody asks.

You have to sit for it,

Especially if your parents and relatives ask,

There is just this certain obsession with Government Jobs.

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You can’t sit at home and work,

That’s not how you earn,

An office and a respectable job,

People want to say proudly,

Our sons and daughters are government servants,

A nine to five job,

Just because, there is a particular obsession with government jobs.

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You have to compete for one little seat,

With thousands of competitors,

Some interested in it, some absolutely not,

Some actors, some writers, some poets, some artists and then some scholars,

All dying together as they sit for their trial of a government job.

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And Oh lord! If you don’t succeed in a few tries,

All hell breaks lose,

What will the society say,

The loss of respect,

Well what can we say,

Asking a fish to climb a tree,

That is what we should expect,

All, due to this obsession with a Government Job.

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It makes me laugh at times,

I mean I don’t like maths,

Was never good at it,

But if I decide to sit for trial,

Against my wishes I will have to practice,

Thanks to the obsession with government jobs.

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Next life if I arrive in India,

I wouldn’t want to be a human,

I would rather be a duck or a whale,

Or something unique like a Narwhal,

I would wade through life,

Doing things I enjoy or die an early death,

From a predator lurking around.

As I don’t really want taunts along with the support,

Just because I want to do works I enjoy,

Not sit on a job I don’t like,

All this, courtesy the obsession with government jobs.

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All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. (VRa)

The Soul’s UrgeĀ©|2020