Life – The Soul's Urge

Book Almost Released

*Here it is, PROBABLY the best mail of my life till now.*

So, I had to share this as my book will be out and about in a few days.

I have like a sinking gut kind of a feel due to all the nervousness yet at the same time I am super excited too. I am hoping that it does well!

This book is very close to my heart. After certain fiascos in my life I had almost stopped believing in love or trying to find it. Three years back, I met a man with whom I shared an unnerving connection. I could feel the vibes from the first instance itself, when I first heard his voice. With him I realised love is not about conquering someone but it is about finding peace and solace.

When you love you settle down. Vanessa, the protagonist of You We is an amalgamation of various strong and rebellious women I have met in my life over the years especially those who hail from small towns and are binded by few Indian constraints, yet have broken these restraints to fly unfettered.

In You We, I bring to you life and love from the platter of a rebellious, small town girl from India who constantly questions orthodox societal norms. All this and more till she meets Umar. Vanessa takes you on a journey from being a Manizer and why she turned into one to finding eternal love. She will take you on a sometimes hilarious, sometimes erotic, sometimes a fairytale and at times a downright uncomfortable voyage, from the ups and downs in her life and through it all how a strong, rebellious woman finds love, coincidentally; loses it, but as destiny wills, it reaches out to her again for an eternity and more.

There is no I in this union. It’s either You or We. – You We (Vanya Rajwar©)

*A sneak peek into the adverts that will be doing rounds once it arrives in the market!*

I hope you all keep supporting me!! Thankyou for always motivating me!! Without it this wouldn’t have been possible. Thankyou everyone! ♥️

Vanya Rajwar©|2020

THE INTERIOR DESIGNED

*The Contents pages of my first book!!!*

So the interiors of my book arrived today and I just couldn’t help but share them with all my readers. Had you all not liked my “erratic” work, this just wouldn’t have been possible. I am so excited and at the same time so scared too!! The adrenaline and the fear pumping. My heart feels like it will leap out my mouth. But I also have this feel it will be a great road ahead.

I hope you all will buy it too from whichever platform you like to read as and when it will be available. Thankyou for always motivating me as a writer.

I hope you like the contents page. Do leave reviews about what you think of them!! Haha!! Thankyou for all the love and support. I love you all!!

All Rights Reserved. VRa.
Vanya Rajwar©. 2020.

Mr. WB (Writer’s Block)

*A Childish and Innocent Tale of how I finally cracked my Writer’s Block and befriended Mr. WB.*

We were sitting together yesterday again,

Mr. Writer’s Block and me,

Love is like a beautiful horizon I began,

Not really said he.

My pen swayed and I dropped it down,

As my words failed and no thoughts could be formed by my mind,

Mr. WB looked elated as I stared at him in despair,

He had again succeeded in blocking my word flow and tide.

You know it’s fine, said he,

I pay a visit to every writer now and then,

Why don’t you just welcome me and let me be?

I haven’t visited my blog in days, I say,

Do you realise despite trying to be regular how erratic I seem?

All thanks to you, if truth be said.

I looked at Mr. WB infuriated,

As he sat there sipping his tea,

I was sure he was smirking behind that cuppa.

He observed me for a while,

Glancing over his cup of tea,

I will leave in a few days said he,

Till then, there is not much you can do about it,

Can’t we be friends till I decide to leave?

I left the room in a huff,

Deciding to roam on the roof,

Looking for inspiration in the sky and the trees,

Cursing Mr. WB whole heartedly.

This was when the breeze whispered to me,

Hey, she said, fallen in love again? Heart been broken again?

or Feeling alone again?

None of these, I replied, just that Mr. WB is on a long visit it seems.

The breeze broke into a laugh,

I pouted at her angrily,

My book is soon to be out, I say,

I need to stay regular, you know.

She thought it through with lots of aahs and hmms,

She discussed with the trees and the skies,

At last she made her way to me and said,

Ever tried making Mr. WB your muse?

Give it a try you just might become allies.

I was lost in thought as I came down from the roof,

Mr. WB was still sipping his tea,

Will you be my muse? I ask,

That will be new, he laughs,

So this childish poem was the end result,

When Mr. WB became my muse.

The better part was we became bosom friends,

We ate and drank together,

And the best part was I saw him off later,

He seemed quite pleased as he said his goodbyes,

Next time he probably won’t visit without a prior call again,

But its Mr. WB and with him we can never be sure!

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).
The Soul’s Urge©|2020

ENIGMA

Numerous are her shades. She is an enigma that takes ages to unfold. You have to be patient to learn all that she withholds because once she unleashes her various hues, you will be left yearning for more and more.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa.

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

Letter to Covid

My dear Covid,

I have no regrets,

My book is in the process,

It will soon be out.

My dear Covid,

At 25 I feel like fifty,

I have faced infidels galore,

I have savoured the adrenaline rush of life,

I have been in the depth of love,

I have also felt the mind numbing void.

My dear Covid,

I have seen the beauty of the European Province,

The human race of which you are destroying,

I have seen the streets being raided by tourists,

Of the Economy that is now collapsing.

My dear Covid,

I am a simple girl from the hills,

A Freelancer and an Introvert,

I already lived in Quarantine.

In India, they say the hills liberate you and bring you peace,

They say, Our gods used to reside in these hills.

My dear Covid,

I don’t seek any worldly pleasures,

A Cabin in the hills,

A warm fire in the hearth,

A book in hand sipping a hot mug of coffee is all I dream of.

My dear Covid,

I just hope my book will grant people some pleasure,

If it comes out during the Corona scare.

I just want to pray for the human race,

To make out of this alive and safe.

My dear Covid,

I bribed the Cosmos everyday,

In the past one year,

I asked it to abduct me,

Take me away as this land felt alien.

My dear Covid,

I just want you to know,

I have lived my dreams,

And if not the Cosmos but you decide to liberate me,

I will have no regrets,

I will leave with a peaceful mind.

My dear Covid,

I want to thank you for bringing balance to nature,

Coming from the Himalayas,

I always connected more with nature than with people.

My dear Covid,

If you decide to take me away,

I wouldn’t mind it anyway,

Because, I know I have left enough memories,

Of kindness and of Love,

For all the people dear to me to remember me by,

And I hope these will be lessons they can pass on,

To the generations that will follow them,

To be kind to nature,

So that it does not avenge itself with a ‘Corona’ again.

Sincerely,

A Girl from the Himalayan Foothills

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).
The Soul’s Urge©|2020

GOVERNMENT JOBS

A Sarcastic and Hilarious take on India’s obsession with Government Jobs

I had been wanting to speak since ages,

You know about this,

Particular obsession with Government Jobs.

In India, whatever or however you do it,

You should certainly apply for what?

A Government Job.

Do you like Banking?

Nobody really asks.

You want a career in railways?

Again nobody asks.

Do you want to become a professor?

Nada, that’s again never asked.

Do you want to go into government administration?

AGAIN Nobody asks.

You have to sit for it,

Especially if your parents and relatives ask,

There is just this certain obsession with Government Jobs.

You can’t sit at home and work,

That’s not how you earn,

An office and a respectable job,

People want to say proudly,

Our sons and daughters are government servants,

A nine to five job,

Just because, there is a particular obsession with government jobs.

You have to compete for one little seat,

With thousands of competitors,

Some interested in it, some absolutely not,

Some actors, some writers, some poets, some artists and then some scholars,

All dying together as they sit for their trial of a government job.

And Oh lord! If you don’t succeed in a few tries,

All hell breaks lose,

What will the society say,

The loss of respect,

Well what can we say,

Asking a fish to climb a tree,

That is what we should expect,

All, due to this obsession with a Government Job.

It makes me laugh at times,

I mean I don’t like maths,

Was never good at it,

But if I decide to sit for trial,

Against my wishes I will have to practice,

Thanks to the obsession with government jobs.

Next life if I arrive in India,

I wouldn’t want to be a human,

I would rather be a duck or a whale,

Or something unique like a Narwhal,

I would wade through life,

Doing things I enjoy or die an early death,

From a predator lurking around.

As I don’t really want taunts along with the support,

Just because I want to do works I enjoy,

Not sit on a job I don’t like,

All this, courtesy the obsession with government jobs.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. (VRa)

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

Letting Go

Tale of a woman who is ready to Let Go of the past and wants to start afresh

It’s a funny story of life,

I fell in love with a man,

One with whom I never wanted to,

He loved another so I let him go.

I fell for another, his friend,

With a heightened intensity,

Stood by him through hard times,

He started crushing on another,

Later fell for her too,

So I let him go.

The previous man returned,

With new promises and more efforts,

But I still held the other in my heart,

Despite his loyalty,

I couldn’t invest myself totally,

Not one to twist my words for long,

I told him so,

Yet again, I let him go.

The other man has many dreams,

He still is in love with another it seems,

I wonder if he will ever return,

But disappointments and dashed hopes I have had enough,

I have given myself a closure numerous times,

But this time a proper closure I do seek.

Might be a joke at times,

So the book I am writing will be the closure I seek,

A new beginning and two chapters closed,

That’s what I feel the ending will be.

I am learning and growing,

I am changing and evolving,

I know it’s time for me to free myself of their snares,

It’s time for me to rediscover myself for what I am.

Finally, I have realised it’s time,

As a friend I will probably still be there for them too,

I am proud of the woman they have forged me into,

Despite having promised a forever and eternity,

The woman I have become,

She is finally Letting Go.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. (VRa)©

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

Strange Dream

From VVe to yoU, Because VVe misses yoU

I had a strange dream last night,
It was daytime,
I stood at my gate,
As you rounded the corner towards my place,
Bag in hand, you looked at me,
Oh! your charming smile had me hooked
all over again,
My heart fluttered as my eyes lowered,
Trying to hide the warm blushes,
There were emotions indescribable,
As I felt the warmth,
I hadn’t felt in ages,
My heart was where it belonged,
As my soul walked towards me,
I knew my wait was at an end,
I was complete,
I was home.

“Because my heart may belong to my hometown but yoU own my very soul. I knew it was yours to belong from the moment I first set eyes on you. – VRa”

Note: My name starts with V and the person who inspired this their name starts with U. So the initials UV, yoU- VVe.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar. VRa©

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

How I have been Disciplined

Because sometimes Capital Punishments can create a rift between Parents and Child, one that can never be filled

Note: This is not related to my book. Just a fleeting thought I penned.

.
It was nothing new for me,
When my father hit me,
I had been disciplined since childhood,
With sticks and brooms and slaps and kicks too,
That was my parents style of venting out their anger,
And rearing the elder kid too.

I grew apart from them with time,
They never understood why I rebelled,
As I reached my teens I started losing my cool,
So it was nothing new for me,
When my father hit me.

I reached my twenties,
I found a partner and as he went through a harsh phase,
I wanted to be there for him, listening to him into the night,
It was something my father couldn’t digest,
At the age of twenty four,
It was again nothing new for me,
When my father took a stick and hit me,
I protested and I shoved him back, my mother called me crazy,
After all hitting back is not how I have been disciplined.

More than a year later I can still see the marks upon my waist,
A reminder of that ill fated day,
What had been my fault?
Was it wrong to be there for someone you love?
But then parents can do no wrong,
They have always reared us with so much love,
So I am not allowed to question them,
Or tell others the very same, what would society think of them?
And anyways also I should have been used to it,
Why would I even cry over this common occurrence?
After all it was nothing new for me,
When my father hit me,
It is just how I have been disciplined.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar.

The Soul’s Urge©|2020

VINAYAK

“A Tale of Vinayak: a House of Bricks and Stones which is a Son, a Brother, A Protector and More”

I wondered why they named our house,
My parents, you know,
An embellished Marble stands at the gate,
With the name Vinayak.

.
With time I came to realise,
It held a deep meaning,
It’s the one of the many names,
That the Hindu Lord Ganesha holds,
If my devoted mother ever had a son,
She would have probably named him Vinayak.

.
Come to think of it,
This house is akin to a son,
Each brick, each Stone was engraved,
By the hard earned money,
Of their own time and efforts,
Isn’t that what parents do for their children?
It’s certainly no less than a son,
Its the result of their own lifeblood,
This house called Vinayak.

.
A few years Younger to me,
But it has seen all my phases,
From childhood to youth,
It has held my deepest and darkest secrets.
A great listener, my partner in crime,
My closest confidante,
It has seen me laugh, It has seen me cry,
It has supported me through in the Most Painful and solitary of times.

.
It protects us all from the perils outside,
People say you are two sisters,
But I say NO, we have a brother,
More humane than many outside, Over the years HE has stood and still stands tall,
For people it might be bricks and stone,
For us it’s a son, a brother, Our Protector,
And HIS name is Vinayak.

All Rights Reserved. Vanya Rajwar (VRa).

The Soul’s Urge©|2019